Help Me Doc!
So this guy walks into the doctor’s office with this big white duck on his head.
The doctor looks up and says, “Yes, sir, can I help you?”
And the duck says,
“Yeah, can you get this guy off my butt?”

A duck goes into a furniture store and says ‘got any duck food?’
The guy at the counter says, ‘sorry, we don’t sell duck food’.
The little duck walks out.
The next day, same duck, same guy. ‘Got any duck food?’
‘Sorry little duck, I told you yesterday, no duck food here. ‘
The duck walks out.
Next day, again, ‘got any duck food?’
The guy says ‘No! we don’t sell duck food! and if you come in here again I’m gonna nail your feet to the floor!’
The duck walks out. next day, duck walks in. ‘Got any nails? ‘
The guy says ‘what?… no’.
‘…got any duck food?’

Religious Cowboy The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a duck walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the duck’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!” “Not really,” said the duck. “Your name is written inside the cover.”