“I’m tired of being treated
like a piece of meat.”
A teacher was testing the children in her Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven. She asked them, “If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?”
“NO!” the children answered.
“If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?”
Again, the answer was, “NO!”
Now she was smiling. Hey, they’re getting it, she thought! “Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into Heaven?” she asked.
Again, they all answered, “NO!”
She was just bursting with pride for them. “Well,” she continued, “then how can I get into Heaven?”
A five-year-old boy shouted out, “YOU GOTTA BE DEAD.”
The chicken crossed the road to get a beer.
♡ฅ(ᐤˊ꒳ฅˋᐤ♪) Stuck on you
I’ve got this feeling down deep in my soul that I just can’t lose
Guess I’m on my way ヽ(´▽｀；)/♪
Needed a friend
♪(´∪`●)ゝAnd the way I feel now, I guess I’ll be with you till the end
Guess I’m on my way (*´╰╯`๓)♬
Mighty glad you stayed
I will never dessert you!
Donut judge my diet!
I donut know what I’ll do without you!
I was told to glaze it!
Donut ever leave me!
[Pics from http://www.pinterest.com]
We recently got crushed by a pile of books,
we have only got our shelves to blame.
What is black – white – black – white – black – white?
A penguin rolling down a mountain!
“Why don’t you wanna taco ’bout it?”
“I’m nacho friend anymore!”