5

Joke of the day – Lord’s Prayer (Kids version)

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“Our Father, who does art in heaven.”

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“Howard be thy name.”

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“Give us this day our jelly bread.”

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“Lead a snot into temptation.”

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“And deliver us from eagles.”

[Pics from Pinterest]

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12

Remembering my dad

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Sixteen years ago today, my dad passed away.   Recently, we said  goodbye to my beloved aunt and it’s comforting to know that my dad was reunited with his beloved sister in heaven.  
 
My message to my dad this anniversary is:
 
“Hi Dad, I can’t believe it’s been 16 years since you were gone. We are all imperfect.  While on earth you had much pain and struggles yet you were honest, kind and generous and that’s perfectly you. And I believe you were at peace with your past and is now resting in eternal peace.
I wish you could stay longer to meet your beautiful grandchildren. But I know you are watching over them from heaven. You’ll live in our hearts till we meet again. ~Love always, Pat (♡ ὅ ◡ ὅ )ʃ♡”
 
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Those we love and lose are always connected by heartstrings into infinity.

—Terri Guillemets

4

Joke of the day – One day in Hell

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A politician dies and appears in front of the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks at him for a second, flicks through his book, and finds his name.

Saint Peter:  “So, you’re a politician…”

Politician:  “Yes, is that a problem?”

Saint Peter: “ Oh no, no problem.  But we’ve recently adopted a new system for people in your line of work, and unfortunately you will have to spend a day in Hell. After that however, you’re free to choose where you want to spend eternity!”

Politician: “Wait, I have to spend a day in Hell?!”

Saint Peter:  “Those are the rules.”

(St Peter, clicks his fingers, and WOOMPH, the guy disappears)

Later the politician awakes, curled up with his hands over his eyes, knowing he’s in Hell.

Satan:  “Open your eyes! We’ve only got 24 hours!”

The politician nervously, uncovers his eyes, looks around, and sees he’s in a hotel room. A nice one too. Wait, this is a penthouse suite… And there’s a smiling man in a suit, holding a martini.

Politician: “Who are you??”

Satan:  “Well, I’m Satan! Welcome to Hell” (handing him the drink and helping him to his feet).

Politician:  “Wait, this is Hell? But…where’s all the pain and suffering?” 

Satan:  “Oh, we’ve been a bit misrepresented over the years, it’s a long story. Anyway, this is your room! The minibar is of course free, as is the room service, there’s extra towels next to the hot-tub, and if you need anything, just call reception. But enough of this! It’s a beautiful day, and if you’d care to look outside…..”

(After 24-hours, the politician is woken up by St Peter).

Politician:  “So, that was Hell.

Saint Peter: “Wasn’t what you were expecting, I bet?” So then, you can make your choice. It’s Hell, which you saw, or Heaven, which has choral singing, talking to God, white robes, and so on.”

Politician: “Well… I know this sounds strange, but on balance, I think I’d prefer Hell,”

Saint Peter:  “Not a problem, we totally understand! Enjoy!” (And clicks his fingers again)

The politician wakes up in total darkness, the stench of ammonia filling the air and distant screams the only noise. As he adjusts, he can see the only light is from belches of flame far away, illuminating the ragged remains of people being tortured or burning in a sulphurous ocean. A sudden bolt of lightning reveals Satan next to him, wearing the same suit as before and grinning, holding a soldering iron in one hand and a coil of razor-wire in the other.

Politician: “What’s this? Where’s the hotel? Where’s the minibar, the golf-courses, the pool, the restaurant, the free drinks and the sunshine???”

Satan: “Ahhh, you see, yesterday, we were campaigning. But today, you voted.”

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[Source: http://www.sunnyskyz.com]

28

Comforting words

Comforting words from my daughters:

my beautiful daughters

Zap was such an angel and angels live in heaven.  Monster will take care of him.  We will think of the happy moments with Zap” – Sydelle 

 “Don’t be sad, Mom.  Monster will be there for Zap.  You need to find your happy place.” – Shaye 

10

A Special Place

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You have a special place Dear Lord
that I know you’ll always keep
A special place reserved for dogs
when they quietly fall asleep
With large and airy kennels
and a yard for hiding bones
With maybe a little babbling creek
that chatters over stones.
With wide green fields and flowers
for those who never knew
about running freely under
Your sky of perfect blue.
Lord,I know You keep this Special Place
And so to you I Pray,
For one Special Rottweiler puppy
Who quietly died today
He was full of strength & love
and so very, very cute.
He is dearly missed my Lord
By a very good friend of mine.
He went to join his ancestors
To Your land that is Devine
So, speak to Zap softly please
And give him a warm hello.
He’s a Special gift to you Dear Lord
From Pat, Jan, Sydelle and Shaye, who loved him so.

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RIP our beautiful angel!

Original poem by Jan Cooper 1994

   

3

Joke of the day – The pathetic lawyer

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The lawyer is standing at the gate to Heaven and St. Peter is listing his sins:

1) Defending a large corporation in a pollution suit where he knew it was guilty.
2).Prosecuting an innocent woman because a scapegoat was needed in a controversial case.
3) Defending an obviously guilty murderer because the fee was high.
4) Overcharging fees to many clients.
And the list went on for quite awhile.

The lawyer objects and begins to argue his case. He admits all these things, but argues, “Wait, I’ve done some charity in my life also.” St. Peter looks in his book and says,“Yes, I see. Once you gave a dime to a panhandler and once you gave an extra nickel to the shoeshine boy, correct?”

The lawyer gets a smug look on his face and replies, “Yes.”

St. Peter turns to the angel next to him and says, “Give this guy 15 cents and tell him to go to hell.”