A teacher was testing the children in her Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven. She asked them, “If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?”
“NO!” the children answered.
“If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?”
Again, the answer was, “NO!”
Now she was smiling. Hey, they’re getting it, she thought! “Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into Heaven?” she asked.
Again, they all answered, “NO!”
She was just bursting with pride for them. “Well,” she continued, “then how can I get into Heaven?”
A five-year-old boy shouted out, “YOU GOTTA BE DEAD.”
For many years after you left,
I felt the pain and burden of
all the things that were left unsaid.
I had like a thousand questions to ask you
and a thousand reasons not to.
Through your life struggles and illness
you had shown me what truly matters in this world.
But today, I’ll remember you in the happiest way.
Thoughts of you make me smile,
knowing you are now free and
and resting peacefully in heaven.
“Happy 88th birthday, Dad!
May the angels sing joyously to you today.”
“Deeply, I know this, that love triumphs over death. My father continues to be loved, and therefore he remains by my side.” – Jennifer Williamson
Hi there, Dad
Today marks 19 years since you left. Thinking of you with love as I reflect how much we do have in common, though I look more like mom.
We both love….
~ coffee & tea. When I was young you used to pour the coffee into the saucer cos the coffee was too hot. Oh, how I loved to drink from the saucer then.
~ snacks. We love to snack while watching the television.
~ music. We love Elvis Presley and we both love to sing.
~ animals. Thank you for all the pets you had brought home. I had dogs, bunnies, cats, fishes, tortoise though mom was not that enthusiastic then about having pets at home.
We were both good drivers and we admire antique and fancy cars. (I still like to drive a manual car).
We have a great sense of humour.
We have a lot of patience. (But I think my patience is wearing thin since the day I got married, Dad. LOL!)
You were not a perfect dad. You made mistakes and you had flaws.
And you had your fair share of trials and tribulations during your life journey here.
But that’s okay, Dad. What’s important is that you were real, you did the best you could and your love was unconditional.
Thank you, Dad for being real and for being you – a simple, humble, kind, honest and generous person.
Much love and hugs, Pat
“May the winds of heaven whisper softly in your ear –
Happy Heavenly Birthday, Dad!
Thinking of you today on your special day.
Sending you much love and loving thoughts.
Until we meet again on the other side of the rainbow!”
“The life of the dead is placed on the memories of the living.
The love you gave in life keeps people alive beyond their time.
Anyone who was given love will always live on in another’s heart.”
a postcard from France.
“Thank you for this beautiful glimpse of heaven, Isabelle!” (♡ ὅ ◡ ὅ )ʃ♡
“Our Father, who does art in heaven.”
“Howard be thy name.”
“Give us this day our jelly bread.”
“Lead a snot into temptation.”
“And deliver us from eagles.”
[Pics from Pinterest]
A politician dies and appears in front of the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks at him for a second, flicks through his book, and finds his name.
Saint Peter: “So, you’re a politician…”
Politician: “Yes, is that a problem?”
Saint Peter: “ Oh no, no problem. But we’ve recently adopted a new system for people in your line of work, and unfortunately you will have to spend a day in Hell. After that however, you’re free to choose where you want to spend eternity!”
Politician: “Wait, I have to spend a day in Hell?!”
Saint Peter: “Those are the rules.”
(St Peter, clicks his fingers, and WOOMPH, the guy disappears)
Later the politician awakes, curled up with his hands over his eyes, knowing he’s in Hell.
Satan: “Open your eyes! We’ve only got 24 hours!”
The politician nervously, uncovers his eyes, looks around, and sees he’s in a hotel room. A nice one too. Wait, this is a penthouse suite… And there’s a smiling man in a suit, holding a martini.
Politician: “Who are you??”
Satan: “Well, I’m Satan! Welcome to Hell” (handing him the drink and helping him to his feet).
Politician: “Wait, this is Hell? But…where’s all the pain and suffering?”
Satan: “Oh, we’ve been a bit misrepresented over the years, it’s a long story. Anyway, this is your room! The minibar is of course free, as is the room service, there’s extra towels next to the hot-tub, and if you need anything, just call reception. But enough of this! It’s a beautiful day, and if you’d care to look outside…..”
(After 24-hours, the politician is woken up by St Peter).
Politician: “So, that was Hell.
Saint Peter: “Wasn’t what you were expecting, I bet?” So then, you can make your choice. It’s Hell, which you saw, or Heaven, which has choral singing, talking to God, white robes, and so on.”
Politician: “Well… I know this sounds strange, but on balance, I think I’d prefer Hell,”
Saint Peter: “Not a problem, we totally understand! Enjoy!” (And clicks his fingers again)
The politician wakes up in total darkness, the stench of ammonia filling the air and distant screams the only noise. As he adjusts, he can see the only light is from belches of flame far away, illuminating the ragged remains of people being tortured or burning in a sulphurous ocean. A sudden bolt of lightning reveals Satan next to him, wearing the same suit as before and grinning, holding a soldering iron in one hand and a coil of razor-wire in the other.
Politician: “What’s this? Where’s the hotel? Where’s the minibar, the golf-courses, the pool, the restaurant, the free drinks and the sunshine???”
Satan: “Ahhh, you see, yesterday, we were campaigning. But today, you voted.”