7

🕊 Happy 90th Birthday in Heaven, Dad! 🪷

My dearest Dad,
It was not my intention to write this on your birthday with such a heavy heart. You know I’ve always been real and brutally honest about the matters of the heart. And I know I had to write this to heal my wounded heart.
Two days ago, I was blamed, criticized and humiliated with a whole load of nonsense and distorted facts. And this happened over an email I had written which was not even addressed to her but to her significant other. You know who I’m referring to, Dad. I don’t need to mention her name here. Aren’t you glad she doesn’t carry your surname? She thinks that she can just overstep and attack me sarcastically and vindictively about issues in the family that she had no first hand knowledge.
With the recent email and the limited knowledge she had gathered over the decade, she boldly exudes authority to point her finger at me. She hit me below the belt. And further sent what seemed like an endless text message with false accusations and derogatory remarks about me and my personal life. She made me look like an outcast, a good for nothing sibling to her other half. Yes, I messed up, Dad. I’ve made some really bad choices. But, I’m not afraid to acknowledge them and be vulnerable about it.
I know that you too had been in such a situation once too often, Dad. We have both been misunderstood by our good intentions, sacrifices and sincerity. But we know who we are, Dad, and it doesn’t matter what others think about us.
Just like you, there’s no need to explain or to defend myself. Everything she said was in fact a reflection of her own failings and insecurities. My heart is clear and at peace. I’ve always been myself and I’ve done my best within my means for the family.
So I just gave her a short reply and said she’s entitled to her own views and opinions. I then left the conversation. I have no time for her drama and her twisted facts.
But you know what hurt me the most, Dad. It was when she said I have been a selfish sister and that I never give back. And what I had written brought no comfort but only burden. She said I don’t even know how to take care of my own mother. It was uncalled for cos she was in no position to comment on behalf of my brother.
She shamelessly put herself on the pedestal and said Mom once told her she is a blessing to the family and she was the one who brought the family together. Ha!
Perhaps she should answer the following questions* before she lashed out at me:-
*Who was the one who helped care for Dad after his brain injury which left him half paralyzed due to the delay on the surgery? And I was only 15 then.
*Who was the one who helped Dad get to the bathroom to have his bath? It was not an easy task cos we do not have an attached bathroom and neither did we have a wheelchair then.
*Who was the one who traveled home every Friday evening by bus from KL to Raub, so I could help take care of Dad and do the house cleaning and rushed back to KL on Sunday evening? I was in college then and later started working but I still do that until Mom and Dad moved to KL.
*Who was the one who rented a house from 1994 – 2001 for Mom and Dad? Who took care of them during this period?
*Who was the one who took leave from work to send Mom and Dad for all their hospital appointments ?
*Who was the one who took care of mom when she had Bell’s Palsy?
*Who was the one who sent her to the hospital every morning for facial therapy until she got better?
*Who was the one who helped care for Dad when he was diagnosed with throat cancer in August 2000? And he was given only six months to live. (No one knew those days when I cried in the car while driving home from work cos I don’t want Dad to see me looking sad)
*Who was the one who sent Dad to the prayer and healing meeting every Tuesday night cos Mom wanted to bring him there?
*Who was the one who was there to hold Dad until he drew his last breath?
I know you appreciate all that I had done for you, Dad and it doesn’t matter now if everyone else choose to forget.
Life is too short to dwell on someone who is so toxic. I want to be surrounded by those who uplift my spirit and gives me peace.
And as I ponder on this incident, I realized that your love for me was unconditional and pure. Thank you, Dad for seeing the real me and loving me for who I am, not for who you want me to be.
I’m okay, Dad. I shall move on, reinvent myself and just be happy.
Happy 90th birthday in heaven, Dad! Cheers! 🥂
❤️All my love, Pat ❤️🌈
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6

Happy heavenly 88th Birthday, Dad

Hi Dad,
For many years after you left,
I felt the pain and burden of
all the things that were left unsaid.
I had like a thousand questions to ask you
and a thousand reasons not to.
Through your life struggles and illness
you had shown me what truly matters in this world.
But today, I’ll remember you in the happiest way.
Thoughts of you make me smile,
knowing you are now free and
and resting peacefully in heaven.
“Happy 88th birthday, Dad!
May the angels sing joyously to you today.”
“Deeply, I know this, that love triumphs over death. My father continues to be loved, and therefore he remains by my side.” – Jennifer Williamson

10

Hello Dad…

visit to cemetery

Hello Dad,
today is January 7th
the same date seventeen years ago
at the wee hour of the morning
when I held you in my arms as you
struggled and breathe your last.
The last time Mom and I visited you
at the cemetery was quite some time ago
Not that we have forgotten you but
we believe your spirit dwells
in our hearts and not at the place
where we laid you to rest.
I’m glad I visited you today, Dad
I believe you were at the cemetery too.
I found peace within as I reminisce on the
lessons learned after your passing…
Life is too short to be grumpy
There’s hope in the midst of adversity.
Our success or failures does not
define who we are.
Life is about being joyful.
And there’s joy…
in being yourself
in giving & sharing
in the midst of pain and suffering,
May we find the strength
to let go of our past…
the years of pain and difficulties that
we had somehow survived and have made
 us more compassionate and resilient.
May our hearts be filled with
love, joy and  peace
as we continue to live
joyfully in the moment.

316603-animated-swan-on-lake-with-lotus-flower

 

12

Remembering my dad

beautiful hand planters.jpg
Sixteen years ago today, my dad passed away.   Recently, we said  goodbye to my beloved aunt and it’s comforting to know that my dad was reunited with his beloved sister in heaven.  
 
My message to my dad this anniversary is:
 
“Hi Dad, I can’t believe it’s been 16 years since you were gone. We are all imperfect.  While on earth you had much pain and struggles yet you were honest, kind and generous and that’s perfectly you. And I believe you were at peace with your past and is now resting in eternal peace.
I wish you could stay longer to meet your beautiful grandchildren. But I know you are watching over them from heaven. You’ll live in our hearts till we meet again. ~Love always, Pat (♡ ὅ ◡ ὅ )ʃ♡”
 
love-guitar
Those we love and lose are always connected by heartstrings into infinity.

—Terri Guillemets

0

Joke of the day – Bathtub

images_old_man_in_bathtub

A farmer and his son were on a train headed for their first visit to the city when a priest hobbled into their compartment on crutches, with his foot in plaster.

“Slipped in the bathtub,” he explained.

When the priest got out at the next station the son said, “What’s a bathtub, Dad?”

“I dunno son, I’m not a Catholic.”

0

Joke of the day – Best dad

Father with son on shoulder

Three boys are bragging about their fathers.

1st boy: My dad can shoot an arrow and reach the target before the arrow does.

2nd boy: My dad can fire his gun and be there before the bullet.

3rd boy: That’s nothing. My dad stops working at 4.30 pm and gets home by 3.45 pm!