Wishing you and yours a very joyous Diwali. Light & blessings, NBC ㄱ(ㅇㅅㅇ” )ㄴ
To all who are celebrating Diwali,
the festival of lights ;
A celebration of triumph
of light over darkness and good over evil,
A festival where thousands of oil lamps
will be illuminated throughout the night;
May the light of hope be there
when we seek it in our darkest hours;
May the light of faith be seen with our hearts
even when our eyes see only darkness;
Let us shine and share this beautiful light
with those around us;
Wishing you delightful moments and
overflowing joy this Diwali and always!
A little hug from lady bug!
Beware! I’m a big bad woof!
Cheers to the king of one-liners! ✧٩(•́⌄•́๑)
Every time I ask what time it is….
….I get a different answer
I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing….
….This is as close as I could get.
Before they invented drawing boards….
….What did they go back to?
I crossed an alligator with a homing pigeon….
….That will come back to bite me
I hate it when the voices in my head go silent….
….I never know what those fuckers are planning
I was going to have wine and cheese for dinner….
….but I remembered that I can’t have cheese. Cheers!
I was sitting in traffic the other day….
….That’s probably why I got run over.
My favorite word is “Drool.”….
….It just rolls of the tongue.
My family tree is a cactus….
….There’s a bunch of pricks
They say that laughter is the best medicine…
….but sometimes, a good sleep is better for you
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Here comes the handsome broom!
These jokes are so kool they left me in a daze…∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿
My wife asked me to help prepare our 4-year-old for his first day at school….
….So I stole his lunch
Whenever it rains, my wife just stands at the window looking sad….
….Do you think I should let her in?
If anyone knows how to fix broken hinges….
….My door is always open.
There’s nothing like a brisk fall morning….
….To keep me in bed till noon.
There’s no excuse for laziness….
….But if you find one, let me know.
What did the drunk driver die of?….
I just tripped over my wife’s bra….
….It was a booby trap
Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek-a-boo accident?….
….To the I.C.U.
Doctor: I’m sorry, I had to remove your colon….
Did you know that before the crowbar was invented….
….Crows had to drink alone, at home.
….Takes too long.
I admit that…
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Eggcellent jokes from a Grumpy Old Dude! (=^･ｪ･^=))ﾉ彡☆
I was walking past a farm and a sign said: “Duck, eggs!”
I thought: “That’s an unnecessary comma – then it hit me.”
Two dogs are trotting down a city street, when they discover a row of parking meters, newly installed on their favorite section of sidewalk. “Look at that!” one dog says to the other, “Pay toilets!”
I took my dog to a bonfire recently. I was enjoying myself, but my dog seemed depressed. Suddenly he started howling and I realized why. We were burning all his toys.
I’m not so sure about an inner child, but I have an inner idiot that surfaces every now and then.
“You call this a musical?” asked Les miserably.
I was born to be wild, but only until around 9 PM or so.
Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me!! Luckily, my injuries were…
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The eye speaks…