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Wishing you and yours a very joyous Diwali. Light & blessings, NBC ㄱ(ㅇㅅㅇ” )ㄴ

New Bloggy Cat [NBC]

diwali20greetings202203

To all who are celebrating Diwali,
the festival of lights ;
A celebration of triumph
of light over darkness and good over evil,
A festival where thousands of oil lamps 
will be illuminated throughout the night;
May the light of hope be there
when we seek it in our darkest hours;
May the light of faith be seen with our hearts 
even when our eyes see only darkness;
Let us shine and share this beautiful light
with those around us;
Wishing you delightful moments and
overflowing joy this Diwali and always!
– NBC

diwali2banimated2b2

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4

Time For More One-Liners

Cheers to the king of one-liners! ✧٩(•́⌄•́๑)

Archon's Den

Every time I ask what time it is….
….I get a different answer

I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing….
….This is as close as I could get.

Before they invented drawing boards….
….What did they go back to?

I crossed an alligator with a homing pigeon….
….That will come back to bite me

I hate it when the voices in my head go silent….
….I never know what those fuckers are planning

I was going to have wine and cheese for dinner….
….but I remembered that I can’t have cheese. Cheers!

I was sitting in traffic the other day….
….That’s probably why I got run over.

My favorite word is “Drool.”….
….It just rolls of the tongue.

My family tree is a cactus….
….There’s a bunch of pricks

They say that laughter is the best medicine…
….but sometimes, a good sleep is better for you

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6

Skool Daze

These jokes are so kool they left me in a daze…∠( ᐛ 」∠)_

Archon's Den

Student

My wife asked me to help prepare our 4-year-old for his first day at school….
….So I stole his lunch

Whenever it rains, my wife just stands at the window looking sad….
….Do you think I should let her in?

If anyone knows how to fix broken hinges….
….My door is always open.

There’s nothing like a brisk fall morning….
….To keep me in bed till noon.

There’s no excuse for laziness….
….But if you find one, let me know.

What did the drunk driver die of?….
….Texting.

I just tripped over my wife’s bra….
….It was a booby trap

Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek-a-boo accident?….
….To the I.C.U.

Doctor: I’m sorry, I had to remove your colon….
….Me Why

Did you know that before the crowbar was invented….
….Crows had to drink alone, at home.

Instant gratification….
….Takes too long.

I admit that…

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2

Egging The Dog On

Eggcellent jokes from a Grumpy Old Dude! (=^・ェ・^=))ノ彡☆

Archon's Den

Egg

I was walking past a farm and a sign said: “Duck, eggs!”

I thought: “That’s an unnecessary comma – then it hit me.”

***

Two dogs are trotting down a city street, when they discover a row of parking meters, newly installed on their favorite section of sidewalk.  “Look at that!” one dog says to the other, “Pay toilets!”

I took my dog to a bonfire recently.  I was enjoying myself, but my dog seemed depressed.  Suddenly he started howling and I realized why.  We were burning all his toys.

***

I’m not so sure about an inner child, but I have an inner idiot that surfaces every now and then.

—–

“You call this a musical?” asked Les miserably.

—–

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9 PM or so.

—–

Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me!! Luckily, my injuries were…

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