It was the new Super Fast Train and halfway through the journey there was a violent vibration.
Passenger: “What was the trouble back there? I thought this was supposed to be a smooth ride.”
Porter: “Sorry, Sir. We ran over a politician.”
Passenger: “Goodness! What was he doing on the tracks?”
Porter: “Oh, he wasn’t on the tracks Sir, but we got him.”
The light at the end of the tunnel ….
is a train!
Tim got off a train very green in the face. A friend met him and asked him what was wrong.
Tim: “Train sickness. I always get deathly sick when I travel backwards on the train.”
Friend: “Why didn’t you ask the person sitting opposite to change seats with you?”
Tim: “I thought of that but there wasn’t anybody there!”
A farmer and his son were on a train headed for their first visit to the city when a priest hobbled into their compartment on crutches, with his foot in plaster.
“Slipped in the bathtub,” he explained.
When the priest got out at the next station the son said, “What’s a bathtub, Dad?”
“I dunno son, I’m not a Catholic.”
A Saudi Prince went to Germany to study. A month later, he sends a letter to his dad saying: “Berlin is wonderful, people are friendly and I really like it here, but I’m a bit ashamed to arrive in school with my gold Mercedes when all my teachers travel by train.”
Sometime later he gets a letter from his dad with a ten million dollar check saying: “Stop embarrassing us, go and get yourself a train too.”
A lady from the city and her traveling companion were on the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. “What a cute bunch of cows!” she remarked. “Not a bunch, herd”, her friend replied. “Heard of what?” “Herd of cows.” “Of course I’ve heard of cows.” “No, a cow herd.” “What do I care what a cow heard. I have no secrets to keep from a cow!”