gorilla jokes | New Bloggy Cat [NBC]

A gorilla swaggered into a waterside pub, slapped a five dollar note on the bar and asked for a beer.

It took the barman by surprise for a moment, but ever ready to make a quid he capitalised on this unusual situation, pulling the beer, scooping up the fiver and giving the gorilla 60 cents in small change.

But as the primate sipped his beer, the phenomena of a talking gorilla aroused the barman’s curiosity to the point where it could be contained no longer.

“Out for a walk, are you? he ventured.

“Yeah,” mumbled the gorilla.

“We don’t get many gorillas in here,” pressed the barman trying to make conversation.

“No wonder, at $4.40 a glass!”

A man walked into his back yard one morning and found a gorilla in a tree.He called a gorilla-removal service and soon a serviceman arrived with a stick, a Chihuahua, a pair of handcuffs and a shotgun.

“Now listen carefully,” he told the homeowner. “I’m going to climb the tree and poke the gorilla with this stick until he falls to the ground. The trained Chihuahua will then go right for his, uh, sensitive area, and when the gorilla instinctively crosses his hands in front to protect himself, you slap on the handcuffs.”

“Got it,” the homeowner replied. “But what’s the shotgun for?”

“If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla,” the man said, “shoot the Chihuahua.”