Going on 18 years now since my dad was called home.
And it took me a long time to realize that
the process of grieving is not
something one can ignore.
It is not about being weak or strong
or how long one should grieve.
Grieving is a journey of acceptance.
A new way of seeing.
A lesson on life and death.
An awakening to living a true life.
Grief is an act of love we have
for those we love and hold so dear.
It is really a journey of love in the presence
to a new journey of love in the absence.
Hello again, Aunt Ying
I thought about you today. Though it is nothing new as I often thought about you in silence and whenever I see the beautiful plants and colourful flowers at the nursery near my home.
I remember those times we sat and talked. Talking to you was always a treat.
We once talked about life and death. You told me that one day you will die and I said, “Aunt, please don’t say that.” But you said, “It’s a fact we must all accept.” You then showed me a beautiful photo of yourself and said it will be the photo of your final journey.
Not too long after that you told me that you had trouble sleeping and you were getting quite forgetful. I did not feel anything amiss at that time cos I was rather forgetful myself too.
I feel sad and helpless when you told me you could no longer drive or do your own shopping. I know how much you loved to be independent. You said you would never want to be a burden to your family.
Also, you often spoke about your two loving daughters, both have made you felt really loved and blessed as a mother. And how much you loved and enjoyed being a grandma to your two wonderful grandsons.
I thought about my visit to your home with Sydelle and Shaye in November 2016. You said you felt very tired. Though you did not say much on that day, you looked at Sydelle and Shaye and uttered “They are very beautiful”. Something you often said about the girls when we meet. I’m thankful that we visited you that day. But I never thought that would be our last goodbye.
Today, I will light a candle for you to let you know,
I miss your smile
I miss your voice
I miss your wit and your wisdom.
Rest in peace, Aunt Ying!
I shall see you one day on the other side of the stars.
Much love, Pat
“The reality is that you will grieve forever.
You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one;
you will learn to live with it.
You will heal and you will rebuild yourself
around the loss you have suffered.
You will be whole again but you will never be the same.
Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.”
― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
“Why, Lord?” I cried
when I heard about the massacre
in Las Vegas that night.
I recall the last such incident
that I prayed and wished
it would be the last.
Why did this lone gunman kill
all those innocent people?
Was it because of too much hatred
and lack of love?
Was he distraught, brainwashed
or think he can play God?
But who am I to question you, Lord.
For your thoughts are not my thoughts.
I pray that you’ll comfort
the families that are grieving,
those who got hurt and need speedy healing.
I plead for you to stir and awaken
the hearts of those in power
to make it a little harder for
a reckless man like him
to gun down people.
May we who feel so powerless
continue to stand strong in unity
and do our small part
to make this world a safer
and better place to live.
My heartfelt condolences to my cousins, M. Yoke, M.Sim & family and Uncle Wong.
To Those Whom I Love And Those Who Love Me
When I am gone, release me, let me go
I have so many things to see and do
You must not tie yourself to me with tears
Be happy that I have had so many years
I gave you my love, you can only guess
How much you gave me in happiness
I thank you for the love each have shown
But now it is time I travelled on alone
So grieve a while for me, if grieve you must
Then let your grief be comforted by trust
It is only for a while that we must part
So bless the memories in your heart
I will not be far away, for life goes on
So if you need me, call and I will come
Though you cannot see or touch me, I will be near
And if you listen with your heart, you will hear
All of my love around you soft and clear
Then, when you must come this way alone
I will greet you with a smile and a Welcome Home
“Farewell, Aunt S. Ying. You’ll be missed and till we meet again.”