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Joke of the day – Write it down

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An elderly couple with memory problems are advised by their doctor to write notes to help them remember things.

One evening, while watching TV, the wife asks her husband to get her a bowl of ice-cream. “Sure,” he says.

“Write it down,” she suggests.

“No,” he says, “I can remember a simple thing like that.”

“I also want strawberry and whipped cream,” she says. “Write it down.”

“I don’t need to write it down,” he insists, heading to the kitchen.

Twenty minutes later, he returns bearing a plate of bacon and scrambled eggs. “I told you to write it down!” his wife says, “I wanted fried eggs!”

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Happiness is …

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… a jam session with my musical family.

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Quote of the day – Pete Seeger

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“Do you know the difference between education and experience? Education is when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don’t. ” – Pete Seeger

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Joke of the day – Gold bullion

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Determined to “take it with him” when he dies, a very rich man prayed until finally the Lord gave in. There was one condition: he could bring only one suitcase of his wealth. The rich man decided to fill the case with gold bullion.

The day came when God called him home. St. Peter greeted him, but told him he couldn’t bring in his suitcase. “Oh, but I have an agreement with God,” the man explained.

“That’s unusual,” said St. Peter. “Mind if I take a look?” The man opened the suitcase to reveal the shining gold bullion.

St. Peter was amazed. “Why in the world would you bring pavement?

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Read a book …

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…and escape. When you are reading it is very hard to think of anything else other than what you are reading. So, it offers total escape.

Read a book today…

…in bed at night for a few minutes,

…while waiting in a queue,

…during your child’s swimming lessons,

…on a bus or train on your way to work.

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Joke of the day – Christian man and lion

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A Christian in ancient Rome was being pursued by a lion. He ran through the city streets and into the woods dodging back and forth among the trees. Finally it became obvious that it was hopeless – the lion was going to catch him. So, he turned suddenly, faced the beast and dropped to his knees. “Lord,” he prayed desperately, “make this lion a Christian.”

Instantly the lion dropped to its knees and prayed, “For this meal of which I am about to partake…”

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Quote of the day – Ann Landers

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There are really only three types of people: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who say,”What happened?” – Ann Landers

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Joke of the day – The monastery

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The monastery was in financial trouble and decided to go into the fish and chip business. One night a customer rapped on the door which was opened by a monk.
“Are you the fish friar?”
“No,” replied the robed figure. “I’m a chip monk!”