Every day a woman stood on her porch and shouted, “Praise the Lord!” And every day the atheist next door yelled back, “There’s no Lord!”
One day, she prayed “Lord, I’m hungry. Please send me some groceries.”
The next morning she found a big bag of food on her stairs. “Praise the Lord,” she shouted.
“I told you there was no Lord,” the neighbour said, “I bought those groceries.”
“Praise the Lord,” said the woman. “He not only sent me groceries, he made the devil pay for them.”
Determined to “take it with him” when he dies, a very rich man prayed until finally the Lord gave in. There was one condition: he could bring only one suitcase of his wealth. The rich man decided to fill the case with gold bullion.
The day came when God called him home. St. Peter greeted him, but told him he couldn’t bring in his suitcase. “Oh, but I have an agreement with God,” the man explained.
“That’s unusual,” said St. Peter. “Mind if I take a look?” The man opened the suitcase to reveal the shining gold bullion.
St. Peter was amazed. “Why in the world would you bring pavement?
A Christian in ancient Rome was being pursued by a lion. He ran through the city streets and into the woods dodging back and forth among the trees. Finally it became obvious that it was hopeless – the lion was going to catch him. So, he turned suddenly, faced the beast and dropped to his knees. “Lord,” he prayed desperately, “make this lion a Christian.”
Instantly the lion dropped to its knees and prayed, “For this meal of which I am about to partake…”