“If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” – Mary Engelbreit
Author Archives: Newbloggycat
If you don’t own a dog …
…, at least one, there is not necessarily anything wrong with you, but there may be something wrong with your life.”
– Roger A. Caras
Joke of the day – Love thy neighbour
Every day a woman stood on her porch and shouted, “Praise the Lord!” And every day the atheist next door yelled back, “There’s no Lord!”
One day, she prayed “Lord, I’m hungry. Please send me some groceries.”
The next morning she found a big bag of food on her stairs. “Praise the Lord,” she shouted.
“I told you there was no Lord,” the neighbour said, “I bought those groceries.”
“Praise the Lord,” said the woman. “He not only sent me groceries, he made the devil pay for them.”
Quote of the day – Haruki Murakami
“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” – Haruki Murakami
Happiness is …
…having faith in God.
Joke of the day – Bathtub
Visiting the psych ward, a man asked how doctors decide to institutionalize a patient.
“Well,” the director said,“we fill a bathtub then offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient, and ask him to empty the bathtub.”
“I get it,”the visitor said. “A normal person would use the bucket because it’s the biggest.”
“No”, the director said.
“A normal person would simply pull the plug. I’ll go prepare your room.”
Quote of the day – George Bernard Shaw
“Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.” – George Bernard Shaw
Get nutty
Nuts are high in nutrients and an excellent source of essential unsaturated fatty acids. They are a rich source of potassium and fibre.
Here are a few other reasons to go nuts – stress reduction, heart health, lung cancer, weight maintenance, cholesterol, prostate cancer, brain health and men’s reproduction health.
So, eat a small handful of raw, unsalted nuts a day and feel the benefits.
Joke of the day – Surgery
Things you don’t want to hear during surgery:
…”Everyone stand back, I think I lost my contact lens.”
…”Someone call the janitor, we’re going to need a mop and a bucket.”
…”Sterile, schmerile; at lest the operating-room floor is clean.”
…”Hey, that’s cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?”
…”Nurse, did this patient sign the organ-donor card?”
Quote of the day – Socrates
“Contentment is natural wealth, luxury is artificial poverty.” – Socrates
