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Joke of the day – Toilet therapy

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Husband: “When I get mad at you, you never fight back.
How do you control your anger?”

Wife: “I clean the toilet.”

Husband: “How does that help?”

Wife: “I use your toothbrush.”

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Joke of the day – The portrait

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A woman decided to have her portrait painted.

She told the artist, “Paint me with diamond rings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex.”

“But you are not wearing any of those things,” he replied.

“I know,” she said. “It’s in case I should die before my husband. I’m sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewellery.”

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Joke of the day – Lecture on economy

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Two husbands leaning on the bar.

“Did you give your wife a lecture on economy like I told you?”

“Yes, I certainly did.”

“And what was the result?”

“I’ve got to give up smoking.”

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Joke of the day – You’re A to K

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After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.

He looked at her for a while, and then said, “You’re A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K.”

She asked, “What does that mean?”

He said, “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot.”

She smiled happily and said, “Oh, that’s so lovely. What about I, J, K?”

He said, “I’m Just Kidding!”

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Joke of the day – Five million dollars

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Joe’s grandfather left him five million dollars, and the next week Jane agreed to marry him.

After three months of married life, Joe noticed that his beautiful new wife was ignoring him more and more.

Whenever they went out in public, she ignored him and flirted with other men. Finally, he decided to confront her.

“Jane,” he said, “was the only reason you married me was because my grandfather left me five million dollars when he died?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she replied, “I don’t care who gave you the money!”

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Joke of the day – Large steak

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One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, “When we were first married, you took the small piece of steak and gave me the larger. Now you take the large one and leave me the smaller; You don’t love me any more…”

“Nonsense, darling,” replied the husband, “you just cook better now.”