“Isn’t elegance forgetting what one is wearing?”
– Yves Saint Laurent
A man is walking down the beach and comes across an old bottle. He picks it up, pulls out the cork and out pops a genie!
The genie says, “Thank you for freeing me from the bottle. In return I will grant you three wishes.”
The man says “Great! I always dreamed of this and I know exactly what I want. First, I want one billion dollars in a Swiss bank account.”
Poof! There is a flash of light and a piece of paper with account numbers appears right in front of him!
He continues, “Next, I want a brand new red Ferrari right here.”
Poof! There is a flash of light and a bright red, brand-new Ferrari appears right next to him!
He continues, “Finally, I want to be irresistible to women.”
Poof! There is a flash of light and he turns into a box of chocolates.
Women wear fake eyelashes, fake hair and fake nails, yet they want a real man.
Little Johnny had just met the new kid at playgroup.
“How old are you?”
“I don’t know.”
“Do women bother you?”
“Then you are five.”
Prospective husband: Do you have a book called ‘Man, The Master of Women.’
Sales girl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.
When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter Paradise, God appeared and said, “I want the men to make two lines: one line for the men who were true heads of their household and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter.”
With that said and done, the next time God looked, the women are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were dominated by their women was 100 miles long, and in the line of men that dominated their women, there was only one man.
God got mad and said, “You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?”
And the man replied, “I don’t know, my wife told me to stand here.”