…a good laugh!
Happiness is …
…a good laugh!
Author Archives: Newbloggycat
Quote of the day – Garrison Keillor
“Beauty isn’t worth thinking about; What’s important is your mind. You don’t want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head.” – Garrison Keillor
Joke of the day – The wise professor
Two university students had an exam coming up but they opted to party instead, and missed the test. “Our car broke down due to a flat tyre,” they told the professor earnestly. “Can we write the exam tomorrow?” The professor agreed to give them a makeup test the next day.
Both boys crammed all night until they were sure they knew just about everything. Arriving the next morning, each was told to go to a separate classroom to take the exam. They shrugged and complied. As they sat down, they read the first question: “For 5 points, explain the contents of an atom.” This is going to be a piece of cake! thought each boy, answering the question with ease.
Then, the test continued. “For 95 points, tell me which tyre it was.”
Quote of the day – Flora Wittemore
“The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.” – Flora Wittemore
Joke of the day – Drill camp
During a drill camp, a sergeant ordered two young female recruits to paint a room, in the barracks, stressing that they must not get any paint on their uniforms.
Doubtful that they could avoid this, the women locked the door and stripped naked to paint. When they heard a knock at the door, one asked, “Who is it?”
“Blind man,” came the reply.
Seeing no harm in letting a blind man enter, they opened the door. “Wow, what knockouts!” the delighted man said. “Now, where do you want these blinds?”
Quote of the day – Cyril Connolly
“Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.” – Cyril Connolly
Happiness is …
…surfing with my cool buddies!
Joke of the day – Tuna for dinner
Three buddies died and went to heaven. Each night, they received tuna fish for dinner. After discussing the situation, they decided to confront God about it.
“Lord, “ one began, “why do we always have tuna for dinner?” We look down and see Satan feeding his minions shrimp, lobsters and steak. Can’t we eat something else?”
God thought for a moment. “You do have a point,” He said, “But it seems like so much trouble to cook just for three.”
Quote of the day – Paulo Coelho
“Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.” ― Paulo Coelho
Joke of the day – The gorilla-removal service
A man walked into his back yard one morning and found a gorilla in a tree.He called a gorilla-removal service and soon a serviceman arrived with a stick, a Chihuahua, a pair of handcuffs and a shotgun.
“Now listen carefully,” he told the homeowner. “I’m going to climb the tree and poke the gorilla with this stick until he falls to the ground. The trained Chihuahua will then go right for his, uh, sensitive area, and when the gorilla instinctively crosses his hands in front to protect himself, you slap on the handcuffs.”
“Got it,” the homeowner replied. “But what’s the shotgun for?”
“If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla,” the man said, “shoot the Chihuahua.”
