“I’ve got the biggest sheep farm in the state,” a farmer boasted to his neighbor.
“Oh yeah? How many sheep do you have?”
“I don’t know. Every time I try to count the sheep, I fall asleep.”
Tag Archives: funny jokes
Joke of the day – Ghosts
What should you say when you meet a ghost?
How do you boo, Sir, how do you boo!
When do ghosts usually appear?
Just before someone screams!
What did mother ghost say to the baby ghost?
Put your boos and shocks on!
Who speaks at the ghosts’ press conference?
The spooksperson!
What is the ghost’s favorite dessert?
Boo-Berry pie with I-scream!
Joke of the day – Elephant
An elephant escaped from a circus and no trace had been found until a lady who had never seen an elephant before rang the police. She was panic-stricken.
“There’s a weird monster in my back yard,” she said. “It is pulling up the cabbages with its tail. But what is worse…I cannot describe what it is doing with them!”
Joke of the day – Monsters
On which day do monsters eat people?
Chewsday.
Why did the monster eat the lightbulb?
He wanted some light refreshment.
What’s a good job for a young monster?
Chop assistant.
Joke of the day – Fine dancer
“Mrs Johnson, your daughter would be a fine dancer, except for two things?”
“What are they?”
“Both feet!”
Joke of the day – Doctor, Doctor
Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a sheep.
That’s baaaaaaaaaad!
Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a dog.
Sit!
Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains.
Oh, pull yourself together!
Doctor, Doctor, I think I’m a bridge.
What’s come over you?
Oh, two cars, a large truck and a bus.
Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I’m God.
When did this start?
After I created the sun, then the earth …
Joke of the day – Naughty boy
A naughty boy was annoying all the passengers on a plane flight.
At last one man could stand it no longer.
“Hey kid, ” he shouted. “Why don’t you go outside and play?”
Joke of the day – Spell backwards
Teacher: “Your daughter’s only five and she can spell her name backwards! Why, that’s remarkable!”
Mother: “Yes, we’re very proud of her.”
Teacher: “And what is your daughter’s name?
Mother: “Anna.”
Joke of the day – Restaurant sign
Sign in a restaurant window: “Kitchen hand wanted, to wash dishes and two waitresses.”
Joke of the day – The stork
“Mom”, said the little boy, “where did I come from?”
“The stork brought you, dear,” was the reply.
And where did you come from, Mom?”
“The stork brought me too.”
“And what about grandma?”
“The stork brought her too.”
“Gee,” said the little lad, “Doesn’t it ever worry you to think that
there have been no natural births in our family for three generations?”
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