“Our Father, who does art in heaven.”
“Howard be thy name.”
“Give us this day our jelly bread.”
“Lead a snot into temptation.”
“And deliver us from eagles.”
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A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table.
“What are you doing?” his mother asked.
“The box says you can’t eat them if the seal is broken,” the boy explained.
“I’m looking for the seal.”
A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, “Mom, I have to pee.”
The mother said to the little boy, “It’s not appropriate to say the word ‘pee’ in church. So, from now on whenever you have to ‘pee’ just tell me that you have to ‘whisper’.”
The following Sunday, the little boy went to church with his father and during the service said to his father, “Dad, I have to whisper.”
The father looked at him and said, “Okay, just whisper in my ear.”
The teacher was going to explain evolution to the children. The teacher asked a little boy.
TEACHER: Tommy do you see the tree outside?
TEACHER: Go outside and look up and see if you can see the sky.
TOMMY: Okay.(He returned a few minutes later) Yes, I saw the sky.
TEACHER: Did you see God?
TEACHER: That’s my point. We can’t see God because he isn’t there! He doesn’t exist.
A little girl spoke up and wanted to ask the boy some questions. The teacher agreed and the little girl asked:
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the tree outside?
LITTLE GIRL: Did you see the sky?
TOMMY: Yessssss (getting tired of the questions by this time).
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the teacher?
LITTLE GIRL: Do you see her brain?
LITTLE GIRL: Then based on what we were taught today, she does not have one!
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, “Everyone who thinks you’re stupid, stand up!” After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.
The teacher said, “Do you think you’re stupid, Little Johnny?
“No, ma’am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!”
Our neighbour’s cat was run over by a car, and the mother quickly disposed the remains before her four-year-old son Johnny found out about it. After a few days, though, Johnny asked about the cat.
“Johnny, the cat died, ” his mother explained. “But it’s alright. He’s up in heaven with God.”
The boy asked, “What in the world would God want with a dead cat?”