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Quote of the day – Aziz Gattoufi

 

Unable - Aziz Gattoufi

‘Thanks again for sharing this beautiful poem with me, Aziz.”

good-morning-happy-thursday-764726

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Joke of the day – Mother tongue

They call our language the mother tongue
because the father seldom gets to speak!

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Joke of the day – Charity

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A local charity had never received a donation from the town’s banker, so the director made a phone call.

“Our records show you make $500,000 a year, yet you haven’t given a penny to charity,” the director began. “Wouldn’t you like to help the community?”

The banker replied, “Did your research show that my mother is ill, with extremely expensive medical bills?”

“Um, no,” mumbled the director.

“Or that my brother is blind and unemployed? Or that my sister’s husband died, leaving her broke with four kids?”

“I … I … I had no idea.”

“So,” said the banker, “if I don’t give them any money, why would I give any to you?”

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Joke of the day – Famous mothers

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ABRAHAM LINCOLN’S MOTHER: “Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can’t
you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?”

ALBERT EINSTEIN’S MOTHER: “But, Albert, it’s your senior picture.
Can’t you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse,
something…?”

BATMAN’S MOTHER: “It’s a nice car, Bruce, but do you realize how
much the insurance is going to be?”

GOLDILOCKS’ MOTHER: “I’ve got a bill here for a busted chair from
the Bear family. You know anything about this, Goldie?”

HUMPTY DUMPTY’S MOTHER: “Humpty, if I’ve told you once, I’ve told
you a hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to
me? Noooo!”

JONAH’S MOTHER: “That’s a nice story, but now tell me where you’ve
really been for the last three days.”

MONA LISA’S MOTHER: “After all that money your father and I spent on
braces, Mona, that’s the biggest smile you can give us?”

LITTLE MISS MUFFET’S MOTHER: “Well, all I’ve got to say is if you
don’t get off your tuffet and start cleaning your room, there’ll be
a lot more spiders around here!”

MARY, MARY, QUITE CONTRARY’S MOTHER: “I
don’t mind you having a
garden, Mary, but does it have to be growing under your bed?”

MICHELANGELO’S MOTHER: “Mike, can’t you paint on walls like other
children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off
the ceiling?”

NAPOLEON’S MOTHER: “All right, Napoleon. If you aren’t hiding your
report card inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and
prove it!”

SUPERMAN’S MOTHER: “Clark, your father and I have discussed it, and
we’ve decided you can have your own telephone line. Now will you
quit spending so much time in all those phone booths?”

THOMAS EDISON’S MOTHER: “Of course I’m proud that you invented the
electric light bulb, Thomas. Now turn off that light and get to
bed!”

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Joke of the day – Evolution

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Puzzled about his first lesson on evolution, young Joey arrived home and said, “Mum is it really true that I’m a descendant of apes, monkeys and gorillas?”

“I don’t really know, darling.” she replied. “I never knew any of your father’s family.”