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Joke of the day – Famous mothers

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ABRAHAM LINCOLN’S MOTHER: “Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can’t
you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?”

ALBERT EINSTEIN’S MOTHER: “But, Albert, it’s your senior picture.
Can’t you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse,
something…?”

BATMAN’S MOTHER: “It’s a nice car, Bruce, but do you realize how
much the insurance is going to be?”

GOLDILOCKS’ MOTHER: “I’ve got a bill here for a busted chair from
the Bear family. You know anything about this, Goldie?”

HUMPTY DUMPTY’S MOTHER: “Humpty, if I’ve told you once, I’ve told
you a hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to
me? Noooo!”

JONAH’S MOTHER: “That’s a nice story, but now tell me where you’ve
really been for the last three days.”

MONA LISA’S MOTHER: “After all that money your father and I spent on
braces, Mona, that’s the biggest smile you can give us?”

LITTLE MISS MUFFET’S MOTHER: “Well, all I’ve got to say is if you
don’t get off your tuffet and start cleaning your room, there’ll be
a lot more spiders around here!”

MARY, MARY, QUITE CONTRARY’S MOTHER: “I
don’t mind you having a
garden, Mary, but does it have to be growing under your bed?”

MICHELANGELO’S MOTHER: “Mike, can’t you paint on walls like other
children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off
the ceiling?”

NAPOLEON’S MOTHER: “All right, Napoleon. If you aren’t hiding your
report card inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and
prove it!”

SUPERMAN’S MOTHER: “Clark, your father and I have discussed it, and
we’ve decided you can have your own telephone line. Now will you
quit spending so much time in all those phone booths?”

THOMAS EDISON’S MOTHER: “Of course I’m proud that you invented the
electric light bulb, Thomas. Now turn off that light and get to
bed!”

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Joke of the day – Lesson on whales

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A teacher asked her class what they knew about whales. One little girl spoke up and said that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

The teacher smiled and said she didn’t think that was very likely, because even though whales can be big, their throats are not big enough to swallow a man. But the little girl was adamant, and maintained that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

The teacher was getting impatient, and reiterated that this was physically unlikely. But the girl was unmoved, and said that when she got to heaven, she would ask Jonah.

“But what if Jonah went to hell?” the teacher asked.
The girl replied, “Then you ask him.”