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Joke of the day – Carrot

Patient: “Doctor, Doctor, I have a carrot growing on my head.”

Doctor: “Amazing!  How could that have happened?”

Patient: “I don’t understand it – I planted watermelons there!”

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Joke of the day – Anthropophobia

A very disturbed man sought his analyst and said, “I have developed a phobia that is ruining my work. Crowds make me violently sick.”

“What’s your business?” asked the doctor.

The patient said, “I’m a pick-pocket.”

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Joke of the day – Sick leave

Patient: “What’s wrong with me, Doc?”

Doctor: “Well, you eat too much, drink too much, and you’re completely lazy.”

Patient: “Thank you, but would you be kind enough to put that into Latin,
so that I can have a week off from the office.”

happy monday

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Joke of the day – Operation

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A patient walked into a doctor’s office and was told he needed an operation.

He asked, “What’s the operation for?”

The doctor said, “Five thousand dollars.”

The patient said, “No, I meant, what’s the reason?”

The doctor said, “I told you – five thousand dollars!”

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Joke of the day – First aid

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When a car skidded on wet pavement and struck a light pole, several bystanders ran over to help the driver.

A woman was the first to reach the victim, but a man rushed in and pushed her back. “Step aside, lady,” he barked. “I’ve taken a course in first aid.”

The woman watched him for a few minutes, then tapped his shoulder. “Pardon me,” she said. “But when you get to the part about calling a doctor, I’m right here.”

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Joke of the day – Hearing aids

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An elderly gentleman with serious hearing problems goes to the doctor who fits him with hearing aids that allow him to hear at 100% for the first time in many years.

The elderly man goes back in a month for a checkup. The doctor says, “Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.”

To which the gentleman replies, “Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!”.