A nurse burst into the doctor’s office:
Nurse : “Doctor, the patient you just gave a clean bill of health dropped dead outside the door. What should I do?”
Doctor: “Quick! Turn him the other way so he’ll look like he was just coming in.”
Doctor: “Please sit in the waiting room. I’ll be dealing with you later.”
A very disturbed man sought his analyst and said, “I have developed a phobia that is ruining my work. Crowds make me violently sick.”
“What’s your business?” asked the doctor.
The patient said, “I’m a pick-pocket.”
Psychiatrist: “Well, what’s your problem?”
Patient: “I prefer brown shoes to black shoes.
Psychiatrist: “There’s nothing wrong with that. Lots of people prefer brown shoes to black shoes. I do myself.”
Patient: “Really? How do you like yours, fried or boiled?”