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Joke of the day – Misdiagnosed

A nurse burst into  the doctor’s office:
Nurse :  “Doctor, the patient you just gave a clean bill of health dropped dead outside the door.   What should I do?” 
Doctor: “Quick!  Turn him the other way so he’ll look like he was just coming in.”

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Joke of the day – Carrot

Patient: “Doctor, Doctor, I have a carrot growing on my head.”

Doctor: “Amazing!  How could that have happened?”

Patient: “I don’t understand it – I planted watermelons there!”

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Joke of the day – Anthropophobia

A very disturbed man sought his analyst and said, “I have developed a phobia that is ruining my work. Crowds make me violently sick.”

“What’s your business?” asked the doctor.

The patient said, “I’m a pick-pocket.”

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Joke of the day – Sick leave

Patient: “What’s wrong with me, Doc?”

Doctor: “Well, you eat too much, drink too much, and you’re completely lazy.”

Patient: “Thank you, but would you be kind enough to put that into Latin,
so that I can have a week off from the office.”

happy monday

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Joke of the day – Brown shoes

Psychiatrist: “Well, what’s your problem?”

Patient: “I prefer brown shoes to black shoes.

Psychiatrist: “There’s nothing wrong with that. Lots of people prefer brown shoes to black shoes. I do myself.”

Patient: “Really? How do you like yours, fried or boiled?”

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Joke of the day – Operation

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A patient walked into a doctor’s office and was told he needed an operation.

He asked, “What’s the operation for?”

The doctor said, “Five thousand dollars.”

The patient said, “No, I meant, what’s the reason?”

The doctor said, “I told you – five thousand dollars!”