“Wake me up when you reach the office. I’ll drive the car home.”
A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. “What are those machetes doing in your car?” asks the cop.
“I juggle them in my act.”
“Oh, yeah?” says the doubtful cop. “Let’s see you do it.” The juggler gets out and starts tossing and catching the knives. Another man driving by slows down to watch.
“Wow” says the passer-by. “I’m glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they’re giving now!”
“Where is the church at 11:25 on Monday morning? The church then is in the dentist’s office, in the car sales room and repair shop, and out in the truck. It is in the hospital, in the classroom and in the home. It is in the offices, insurance, law, real estate, whatever it is. That is where the church is, wherever God’s people are. They are doing what they ought to be doing. They are honouring God, not just while they worship in a building but out there.”
– Arthur H. Dekruyter
When a car skidded on wet pavement and struck a light pole, several bystanders ran over to help the driver.
A woman was the first to reach the victim, but a man rushed in and pushed her back. “Step aside, lady,” he barked. “I’ve taken a course in first aid.”
The woman watched him for a few minutes, then tapped his shoulder. “Pardon me,” she said. “But when you get to the part about calling a doctor, I’m right here.”
Lucy had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the police officer arrived.
“My goodness!” the officer gasped. “Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma’am?”
“Yes, officer, I’m just fine” Lucy chirped.
“Well, how in the world did this happen?” the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
“Officer, it was the strangest thing!” Lucy began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ….”
“Err, ma’am”, the officer said, cutting her off, “There isn’t a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth.”