Sign at the veterinarian waiting room :
Be back in 5 minutes. SIT! STAY!
A woman brought her two cats to the veterinary clinic for their annual checkup.
One was a small framed, round tiger striped tabby, while the other was a long, shiny black cat.
She watched closely as the vet put each cat on the scale.
Vet: “They weigh about the same.”
Woman: “Well…that proves it. Black does make you look slimmer. And stripes make you look fat.”
Jim took his Saint Bernard to the vet.
“Doctor,” he said sadly, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to cut off my dog’s tail.”
The vet stepped back, “Jim, why should I do such a terrible thing?”
“Because my mother-in-law’s arriving tomorrow, and I don’t want anything to make her think she’s welcome.”
A man runs into the vet’s office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments, tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is dead. The man, clearly agitated and not willing to accept this, demands a second opinion.
The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat and puts the cat down next to the dog’s body. The cat sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, poking and sniffing the dog’s body and finally looks at the vet and meows.
The vet looks at the man and says, “I’m sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead, too.” The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead. So the vet brings in a black Labrador retriever. The lab sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, and finally looks at the vet and barks. The vet looks at the man and says,
“I’m sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead too.”
The man, finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet and asks how much he owes. The vet answers, “$650.”
“$650 to tell me my dog is dead?” exclaims the man.
“Well,” the vet replies, “I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis. The additional $600 was for the cat scan and lab tests.