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Joke of the day – Heaven

A teacher was testing the children in her Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven. She asked them, “If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?” 
“NO!” the children answered.
“If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?”
Again, the answer was, “NO!”
Now she was smiling. Hey, they’re getting it, she thought! “Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into Heaven?” she asked.
Again, they all answered, “NO!”
She was just bursting with pride for them. “Well,” she continued, “then how can I get into Heaven?”
A five-year-old boy shouted out, “YOU GOTTA BE DEAD.”

[Source: http://www.beliefnet.com]

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Joke of the day – Be quiet

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A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they were on the way to church service,

“And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”

One bright little girl replied, “Because people are sleeping.”