“No matter how plain a woman may be, if truth and honesty are written across her face, she will be beautiful.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt
Author Archives: Newbloggycat
Joke of the day – The ninety-year-old
Ninety-year-old Jack goes to his doctor for a check-up. A few weeks later, the doctor sees him in the streets with a gorgeous, much younger woman on his arm.
“You’re really doing well, aren’t you?” he tells the elderly man.
Jack replies, “Just doing what you said Doctor: Get a hot mama and be cheerful.”
“No,” says the doctor. “I said,”You’ve got a heart murmur – be careful.”
Happiness is ….
….walking hand in hand at the beach.
Joke of the day – Our neighbour’s cat
Our neighbour’s cat was run over by a car, and the mother quickly disposed the remains before her four-year-old son Johnny found out about it. After a few days, though, Johnny asked about the cat.
“Johnny, the cat died, ” his mother explained. “But it’s alright. He’s up in heaven with God.”
The boy asked, “What in the world would God want with a dead cat?”
Quote of the day – Rex Hudler
“Be a fountain, not a drain.” – Rex Hudler
Joke of the day – Cow & chicken
A cow and a chicken break out of prison and make their way to the border. Hiding behind a bush, they peer out at the checkpoint on the other side of a road, the only thing that stands between them and freedom.
The chicken looks at the cow and says sadly, “You go on. I’ll have to turn back here.”
“But, why?” the bewildered cow asks.
The chicken’s eyes move slowly from the armed guards at the checkpoint to the road in from of them. Then he says, “If I cross that road, it might raise a lot of questions.”
Women & Cats
Isn’t it unfair that women love cats? Cats are independent, they don’t listen, they don’t come when you call, they like to stay out at night and when they’re home, they like to be left alone to sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat. – Terry Sangster
Quote of the day – Bob Marley
“Love the life you live, live the life you love” – Bob Marley
Joke of the day – The argument
“Pour me a double whisky. I’ve just had an argument with my wife.” Sam tells Charlie the bartender.
“Oh, yeah?” says Charlie. “Who won?”
“Put it like this,” says Sam. “When it was all said and done, she came crawling to me on her hands and knees.”
“Really?” says Charlie. “What did she say?”
“Come out of the bed you snivelling coward.”
Quote of the day – Stephen Colbert
“Cynics always say no, saying yes leads to knowledge. So for as long as you have strength, say yes.” – Stephen Colbert
