…a good laugh!
Happiness is …
…a good laugh!
Tag Archives: humor
Joke of the day – The wise professor
Two university students had an exam coming up but they opted to party instead, and missed the test. “Our car broke down due to a flat tyre,” they told the professor earnestly. “Can we write the exam tomorrow?” The professor agreed to give them a makeup test the next day.
Both boys crammed all night until they were sure they knew just about everything. Arriving the next morning, each was told to go to a separate classroom to take the exam. They shrugged and complied. As they sat down, they read the first question: “For 5 points, explain the contents of an atom.” This is going to be a piece of cake! thought each boy, answering the question with ease.
Then, the test continued. “For 95 points, tell me which tyre it was.”
Joke of the day – Drill camp
During a drill camp, a sergeant ordered two young female recruits to paint a room, in the barracks, stressing that they must not get any paint on their uniforms.
Doubtful that they could avoid this, the women locked the door and stripped naked to paint. When they heard a knock at the door, one asked, “Who is it?”
“Blind man,” came the reply.
Seeing no harm in letting a blind man enter, they opened the door. “Wow, what knockouts!” the delighted man said. “Now, where do you want these blinds?”
Joke of the day – Tuna for dinner
Three buddies died and went to heaven. Each night, they received tuna fish for dinner. After discussing the situation, they decided to confront God about it.
“Lord, “ one began, “why do we always have tuna for dinner?” We look down and see Satan feeding his minions shrimp, lobsters and steak. Can’t we eat something else?”
God thought for a moment. “You do have a point,” He said, “But it seems like so much trouble to cook just for three.”
Joke of the day – The gorilla-removal service
A man walked into his back yard one morning and found a gorilla in a tree.He called a gorilla-removal service and soon a serviceman arrived with a stick, a Chihuahua, a pair of handcuffs and a shotgun.
“Now listen carefully,” he told the homeowner. “I’m going to climb the tree and poke the gorilla with this stick until he falls to the ground. The trained Chihuahua will then go right for his, uh, sensitive area, and when the gorilla instinctively crosses his hands in front to protect himself, you slap on the handcuffs.”
“Got it,” the homeowner replied. “But what’s the shotgun for?”
“If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla,” the man said, “shoot the Chihuahua.”
Joke of the day – The self-conscious businessman
The business was self-conscious because he had no ears. So, when he hired a manager, he asked each candidate, “Do you notice anything unusual about me?”
The first replied, “You have no ears.” He was shown the door. When the second candidate’s response was the same, he was also tossed out.
But the third guy had a different answer. “You’re wearing contact lenses,” he said. “How did you know?” the businessman gasped.
“Because people who have no ears have to wear contacts.”
Joke of the day – Food effects
Scientists have identified a food that, once digested, can have negative effects on people’s health that last for decades, including mood-swings in women, psychotic episodes in men and severe depression in both.
It’s called ‘wedding cake’.
Joke of the day – The ninety-year-old
Ninety-year-old Jack goes to his doctor for a check-up. A few weeks later, the doctor sees him in the streets with a gorgeous, much younger woman on his arm.
“You’re really doing well, aren’t you?” he tells the elderly man.
Jack replies, “Just doing what you said Doctor: Get a hot mama and be cheerful.”
“No,” says the doctor. “I said,”You’ve got a heart murmur – be careful.”
Joke of the day – Our neighbour’s cat
Our neighbour’s cat was run over by a car, and the mother quickly disposed the remains before her four-year-old son Johnny found out about it. After a few days, though, Johnny asked about the cat.
“Johnny, the cat died, ” his mother explained. “But it’s alright. He’s up in heaven with God.”
The boy asked, “What in the world would God want with a dead cat?”
Joke of the day – Cow & chicken
A cow and a chicken break out of prison and make their way to the border. Hiding behind a bush, they peer out at the checkpoint on the other side of a road, the only thing that stands between them and freedom.
The chicken looks at the cow and says sadly, “You go on. I’ll have to turn back here.”
“But, why?” the bewildered cow asks.
The chicken’s eyes move slowly from the armed guards at the checkpoint to the road in from of them. Then he says, “If I cross that road, it might raise a lot of questions.”
New Bloggy Cat [NBC] 