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A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses five feet to the right. The statistician yells “We got ’em!”
Two foolish guys went hunting for a bear. Along the way they saw a sign “Bear left,” so they went home.
First hunter: How do you know you hit that duck?
Second hunter: Because I shot him in the foot and in the head at the same time.
First hunter: How could you possibly hit him in the foot and head at the same time?
Second hunter: He was scratching his head.
Four men go on a hunting trip. The only hotel in the area is almost full, so they have to bunk two to a room. No one wants to share with Joe because he snores, so the others decide to take turns.
The first man stays with Joe and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes bloodshot.
“What happened to you?” asked his friends. “Joe snored so loudly I just sat up and watched him all night,” he moans.
The following evening, it is the second man’s turn. He also looks awful in the morning.
“Oh, man, that Joe shakes the roof,” he says. “I sat up and watched him all night too.”
The third night is Sam’s turn, a burly ex-rugby player. Next morning he comes down to breakfast looking very fresh.
The first two men are incredulous. “Wow, what happened?”
“Well,” says Sam. “We got ready for bed. I tucked Joe in, wished him sweet dreams and kissed him on the forehead. He sat up and watched me all night.”
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