Don: “You’re so fastidious!”
Ray: “You mean I’m discriminating?”
Don: “No, I mean you’re fast and hideous.
Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed?
Because she couldn’t control her pupils.
Conductor: “Full fare for the kid, he’s five.”
Mother: “How could he be five, I’ve only been married three years!”
Conductor: “Look lady, I take fares not confessions.”
First hunter: How do you know you hit that duck?
Second hunter: Because I shot him in the foot and in the head at the same time.
First hunter: How could you possibly hit him in the foot and head at the same time?
Second hunter: He was scratching his head.
“Loose conduct can quickly get you into tight places.”
Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
The lettuce was a ‘head’ and the tomato was trying to ‘ketchup’!