Physics Teacher: “Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn’t that wonderful?”
Student: “Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn’t have discovered anything.”
Headmistress: “What tense is ‘I am beautiful’?”
What do you call a law student who tries to sue himself?
Professor: Do you know the difference between ammonia and pneumonia?
Student: Sure. One comes in bottles and the other in chests.
Teacher: That essay on the dog is exactly word for word, same as your brother’s.
Student: Of course, ma’am, it’s the same dog!
Teacher: Tim, say a sentence beginning with “I”.
Tim: I is …
Teacher: No, Tim. You must say, “I am.”
Tim: All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.