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Joke of the day – The lucky saucer

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A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take.

He knows that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars.

The store owner replies, “I’m sorry, but the cat isn’t for sale.

The collector says, “Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I’ll pay you twenty dollars for that cat.” And the owner says “Sold,” and hands over the cat.

The collector continues, “Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat’s used to it and it’ll save me from having to get a dish.”

To which the owner says, “Sorry buddy, but that’s my lucky saucer. So far this week I’ve sold sixty-eight cats.”

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Quote of the day – Cavett Robert

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“Three billion people on the face of the earth go to bed hungry every night, but four billion people go to bed every night hungry for a simple word of encouragement and recognition” – Cavett Robert

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Joke of the day – Future mother-in-law

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A handsome young man had just become engaged and met his fiance’s mother for the first time. “How old do you think I am? she asked the lad.

“Well,” he said after a moment’s thought, “I am wondering whether to make you ten years younger to fit with your looks and figure, or ten years older on account of your wise intelligence.”

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Quote of the day – Dr. Seuss

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“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” – Dr. Seuss

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Quote of the day – Paulo Coelho

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“The simple things are also the most extraordinary things, and only the wise can see them.” – Paulo Coelho

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Sit up straight!

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Don’t slouch! Give your internal organs the room to spread and operate in the optimum space they need and deserve. Your body will be able to detox effectively leaving you feeling healthy and refreshed.

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Joke of the day – The twins

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A pregnant woman from New York was in a car accident and fell into a deep coma. Asleep for almost 6 months, she woke up one day and saw she was no longer pregnant and frantically asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, “Ma’am you had twins! A boy and a girl. Your brother from Maryland came in and named them.”

The woman thinks to herself, “No, not my brother… he’s an idiot!” She asks the doctor, “Well, what’s the girl’s name?”

“Denise.”

“Wow, that’s not a bad name, I like it! What’s the boy’s name?”

“Denephew.”

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Quote of the day – Plato

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“People are like dirt. They can either nourish you and help you grow as a person or they can stunt your growth and make you wilt and die.” – Plato

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Happiness is …

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…living life on the edge.

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Joke of the day – The weatherman

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A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day a young native went up to the director and said, “Tomorrow rain.”

The next day it rained. A week later, the native went up to the director and said, “Tomorrow storm.” The next day there was a hailstorm. “This native is incredible,” said the director. He told his secretary to hire the native to predict the weather. However, after several successful predictions, the young native didn’t show up for two weeks.

Finally the director sent for him. “I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow,” said the director, “and I’m depending on you. What will the weather be like?”

The native shrugged his shoulders. “Don’t know,” he said. “Radio is broken.”