Joke of the day – The hidden box

October 2, 2013 | Newbloggycat

An elderly pastor was searching his closet for his tie before church one Sunday morning. In the back of the closet, he found a small box containing 3 eggs and 100 $1 bills. He called his wife to ask her about the box and its contents.

Embarrassed, she admitted having hidden the box there for their entire 25 years of marriage. Disappointed and hurt, the pastor asked her, “WHY?” The wife replied that she hadn’t wanted to hurt his feelings. He asked her how the box could have hurt his feelings.

She said that every time during their marriage that he had delivered a poor sermon, she had placed an egg in the box. The pastor felt that 3 poor sermons in 25 years was certainly nothing to feel bad about, so he asked her what the $100 was for. She replied, “Each time I got a dozen eggs, I sold them to the neighbors for $1.”

Joke of the day – Be quiet

August 23, 2013 | Newbloggycat

A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they were on the way to church service,

“And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”

One bright little girl replied, “Because people are sleeping.”

Joke of the day – Pick three hymns

August 14, 2013 | Newbloggycat

One Sunday a pastor asked his congregation to consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.

After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had contributed a $1,000 bill. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation, and said he’d like to personally thank the person who had placed the money in the plate.

A very quiet, elderly, saintly widow shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front. Slowly she made her way to the pastor. He told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much and asked her to pick out three hymns.

Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the three most handsome men in the building and said, “I’ll take him, him, and him.”

Joke of the day – Just whisper

August 5, 2013 | Newbloggycat

A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, “Mom, I have to pee.”

The mother said to the little boy, “It’s not appropriate to say the word ‘pee’ in church. So, from now on whenever you have to ‘pee’ just tell me that you have to ‘whisper’.”

The following Sunday, the little boy went to church with his father and during the service said to his father, “Dad, I have to whisper.”

The father looked at him and said, “Okay, just whisper in my ear.”

Joke of the day – Price of worship

July 25, 2013 | Newbloggycat

A man and his nine-year-old son were on a fishing trip miles from home. At the boy’s insistence, they decided to attend the Sunday worship service at a small rural church. The father forgot to bring any cash, so he reached in his pocket and gave his son a dime to drop in the offering plate as it was passed.

As they walked back to their car after the service, the father complained. “The service was too long,” he lamented. “The sermon was boring, and the singing was off key.”

Finally the boy said, “Dad, I thought it was pretty good for a dime.”