We have a fine watch dog. So far he has watched somebody steal our car, watched the garage burn down and watched a bloke pinch the lawn mover.
Tag Archives: dog jokes
Joke of the day – The sleepy dog
One afternoon, I was in the backyard hanging the laundry when an old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard.
I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. But when I walked into the house, he followed me, sauntered down the hall and fell asleep in a corner. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back. He resumed his position in the hallway and slept for an hour.
This continued for several weeks. Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: “Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.”
The next day he arrived with a response pinned to his collar: “We have ten children – he’s trying to catch up on his sleep.”
Jokes of the day – Bulldog
The mother was furious. “Sam!” – she yelled. “Why are you making such awful faces at your bulldog?”
“Well, Mom, he started it!”
Joke of the day – The best dog wins
Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle. The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time. The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.
Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them “The first one who can use the words “liver” and “cheese” together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me.”
The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says “I love liver and cheese.” “Oh, how childish,” said the Poodle. “That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever.”
She turned to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and said “How well can you do?” “Um. I HATE liver and cheese,” blurts the Golden Retriever.
“My, my,” said the Poodle. “I guess it’s hopeless. That’s just as dumb as the Lab’s sentence.” She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, “How about you, little guy?”
The last of the three, tiny in stature, but big in fame and finesse, is the Taco Bell Chihuahua. He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says, “Liver alone. Cheese mine.”
Joke of the day – Guide dogs
Two friends run into each other while walking their dogs. One suggests lunch. The other says, “They won’t let us in a restaurant with pets.”
Undeterred, the first guy and his German Shepherd head into the restaurant. The waiter stops them, saying “Sir, you can’t bring your dog in here.”
“But I’m blind,” the man replies, “and this is my guide dog.”
The waiter, apologizing profusely, show both man and dog to a table.
His friend waits five minutes, then tries the same routine. “You have a Chihuahua for a guide dog?” the skeptical waiter asks.
“A Chihuahua?” the man says, “Is that what they gave me?”
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