Duckling: “What happened to you?”
Rubber ducky: “I got plastic surgery done.”
Tag Archives: duck jokes
Joke of the day – Missing soap
Duck 1: “Hey, who stole the soap?”
Duck 2: “It must be the robber ducky!”
Joke of the day – Fairy tale
Mother duck is telling her little duckling a story:
“…the handsome prince turned into a juicy frog! They had
him for dinner and they lived happily every after.”
Joke of the day – Clever duck
Joke of the day – Romantic duck
I’m in a Chinese restaurant and this duck comes up with a red rose and says: “Your eyes sparkle like diamonds.”
I said: “Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck.”
Joke of the day – Duck hunter
First hunter: How do you know you hit that duck?
Second hunter: Because I shot him in the foot and in the head at the same time.
First hunter: How could you possibly hit him in the foot and head at the same time?
Second hunter: He was scratching his head.
Duck jokes
Help Me Doc!
So this guy walks into the doctor’s office with this big white duck on his head.
The doctor looks up and says, “Yes, sir, can I help you?”
And the duck says,
“Yeah, can you get this guy off my butt?”
A duck goes into a furniture store and says ‘got any duck food?’
The guy at the counter says, ‘sorry, we don’t sell duck food’.
The little duck walks out.
The next day, same duck, same guy. ‘Got any duck food?’
‘Sorry little duck, I told you yesterday, no duck food here. ‘
The duck walks out.
Next day, again, ‘got any duck food?’
The guy says ‘No! we don’t sell duck food! and if you come in here again I’m gonna nail your feet to the floor!’
The duck walks out. next day, duck walks in. ‘Got any nails? ‘
The guy says ‘what?… no’.
‘…got any duck food?’
Religious Cowboy The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a duck walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the duck’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!” “Not really,” said the duck. “Your name is written inside the cover.”
New Bloggy Cat [NBC] 