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Joke of the day – Chicken

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Timmy:  “My brother thinks he’s a chicken.”

John: “Why don’t you take him to the doctor and have him cured.”

Timmy:  “We need the eggs.”

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Joke of the day – Eggs

Why don’t eggs tell jokes?

Because they’d crack each other up.

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Joke of the day – The hidden box

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An elderly pastor was searching his closet for his tie before church one Sunday morning. In the back of the closet, he found a small box containing 3 eggs and 100 $1 bills. He called his wife to ask her about the box and its contents.

Embarrassed, she admitted having hidden the box there for their entire 25 years of marriage. Disappointed and hurt, the pastor asked her, “WHY?” The wife replied that she hadn’t wanted to hurt his feelings. He asked her how the box could have hurt his feelings.

She said that every time during their marriage that he had delivered a poor sermon, she had placed an egg in the box. The pastor felt that 3 poor sermons in 25 years was certainly nothing to feel bad about, so he asked her what the $100 was for. She replied, “Each time I got a dozen eggs, I sold them to the neighbors for $1.”

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Quote of the day – Bernard Meltzer

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“A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked”

– Bernard Meltzer