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Joke of the day – Job interview

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A businessman was interviewing applicants for the position of divisional manager. He devised a simple test to select the most suitable person for the job. He asked each applicant the question, “What is two and two?”

The first interviewee was a journalist. His answer was “Twenty-two.” The second was a social worker. She said, “I don’t know the answer but I’m glad we had time to discuss this important question.” The third applicant was an engineer. He pulled out a slide rule and showed the answer to be between 3.999 and 4.001.

The last applicant was an accountant. The business man asked him, “How much is two and two?” The accountant got up from his chair, went over to the door and closed it, then came back and sat down. He leaned across the desk and said in a low voice, “How much do you want it to be?” He got the job.

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Joke of the day – Dentist

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A sign posted in a Dentist’s office said:

“Please be nice to our dentists. They have fillings too.”

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Quote of the day – Arthur Ashe

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“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.”

–Arthur Ashe

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Quote of the day – Leo Burnett

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β€œCuriosity about life in all of its aspects, I think, is still the secret of great creative people”

– Leo Burnett

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Joke of the day – The prisoner

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A prisoner escaped by digging a hole from the jail cell to the outside world. When his work was finally done, he emerged in the middle of a preschool playground. “I’m free, I’m free!” he shouted.

“So what,” said a little girl. “I’m four.”

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Quote of the day – Jane Howard

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“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.”

– Jane Howard

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Joke of the day – A reward

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An elderly lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping. It was found by an honest little boy who returned it to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, “That’s funny. When I lost my bag there was a $100 bill in it. Now there are 100, $1 bills.” The boy quickly replied, “That’s right, lady. The last time I found a lady’s purse, she didn’t have any change for a reward.”

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Quote of the day – Marianne Williamson

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“Be the most wonderful expression of you that you’re capable of.”

– Marianne Williamson

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Joke of the day – The artist

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An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any recent interest in his paintings which happened to be on display.

“I have good news and bad news,” the gallery owner replied. “The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death.”

“What did you say?” questioned the artist.

“When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings.”

“That’s wonderful!” the artist exclaimed. “What’s the bad news?”

“The gentleman was your doctor.”

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The joy of giving

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Give Lavishly! Live Abundantly!
– Helen Steiner Rice

The more you give, the more you get,
The more you laugh, the less you fret.
The more you do unselfishly,
The more you live abundantly –
The more of everything you share,
The more you always have to spare.
The more you love, the more you’ll find
That life is good and friends are kind,
For only what we give away
Enriches us from day to day.