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Tag Archives: good clean jokes
Joke of the day – Be more or less specific
“Young man, where do you work? the judge asked the defendant.
“Here and there,” said the man,
“What do you do for a living?”
“This and that.”
“Take him away,” said the judge.
The man said, “Wait a minute! When will I get out?”
The judge replied, “Sooner or later.”
Joke of the day – Concise essay
A university creative writing class was asked to write
a concise essay containing these four elements:
religion, royalty, sex and mystery.
The prize-winning essay read:
“My God,” said the Queen. “I’m pregnant. I wonder who did it?”
Joke of the day – Grandma knows best
An elderly grandmother was giving her grandson directions to her apartment.
Grandma: “I am in apartment 4012. There is a big panel at the front door.
With your elbow, push button 4012. I will buzz you in.
Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 4.
When you get out, I’m on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell.”
Grandson: “Grandma, that sounds easy. But, why am I hitting all these buttons
with my elbow?
Grandma: “What……You coming empty handed?”
Joke of the day – Law student
What do you call a law student who tries to sue himself?
Self tort.
Joke of the day – Romantic duck
I’m in a Chinese restaurant and this duck comes up with a red rose and says: “Your eyes sparkle like diamonds.”
I said: “Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck.”
Joke of the day – The skunk
What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the courtroom?
Odor in the court.
Joke of the day – Two peanuts
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
Joke of the day – Life in 4 stages
When you ponder about Christmas, there are four stages in your life:-
1. You believe in Santa
2. You don’t believe in Santa
3. You are Santa
4. You look like Santa
Joke of the day – “Hydrant” day
Two dogs were out for a walk. One dog says to the other,
“Wait here a minute, I’ll be right back.”
He walks across the street and sniffs a fire hydrant for about a minute,
then rejoins his friend.
“What was that all about?” the other dog asks.
“Just checking my messages.”
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