“Young man, where do you work? the judge asked the defendant.
“Here and there,” said the man,
“What do you do for a living?”
“This and that.”
“Take him away,” said the judge.
The man said, “Wait a minute! When will I get out?”
The judge replied, “Sooner or later.”
A university creative writing class was asked to write
a concise essay containing these four elements:
religion, royalty, sex and mystery.
The prize-winning essay read:
“My God,” said the Queen. “I’m pregnant. I wonder who did it?”
An elderly grandmother was giving her grandson directions to her apartment.
Grandma: โI am in apartment 4012. There is a big panel at the front door.
With your elbow, push button 4012. I will buzz you in.
Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 4.
When you get out, Iโm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell.โ
Grandson: โGrandma, that sounds easy. But, why am I hitting all these buttons
with my elbow?
Grandma: โWhat……You coming empty handed?โ
What do you call a law student who tries to sue himself?
Self tort.
I’m in a Chinese restaurant and this duck comes up with a red rose and says: “Your eyes sparkle like diamonds.”
I said: “Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck.”
What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the courtroom?
Odor in the court.
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
When you ponder about Christmas, there are four stages in your life:-
1. You believe in Santa
2. You don’t believe in Santa
3. You are Santa
4. You look like Santa
Two dogs were out for a walk. One dog says to the other,
“Wait here a minute, I’ll be right back.”
He walks across the street and sniffs a fire hydrant for about a minute,
then rejoins his friend.
“What was that all about?” the other dog asks.
“Just checking my messages.”
Something you never want to hear at the tattoo parlour:
“Eagle”?….I thought you said “beagle”.
New Bloggy Cat [NBC] 