Joke of the day – Penguin

January 10, 2014 | Newbloggycat

A penguin is driving through Arizona when he notices that the oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.

After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot.

He gets a big bowl of vanilla ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands, he makes a real mess trying to eat with his little flippers.

After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he has found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says, “It looks like you blew a seal.”

“No, no,” the penguin replies, “it’s just ice cream.”

Joke of the day – Job interview

January 8, 2014 | Newbloggycat

A businessman was interviewing applicants for the position of divisional manager. He devised a simple test to select the most suitable person for the job. He asked each applicant the question, “What is two and two?”

The first interviewee was a journalist. His answer was “Twenty-two.” The second was a social worker. She said, “I don’t know the answer but I’m glad we had time to discuss this important question.” The third applicant was an engineer. He pulled out a slide rule and showed the answer to be between 3.999 and 4.001.

The last applicant was an accountant. The business man asked him, “How much is two and two?” The accountant got up from his chair, went over to the door and closed it, then came back and sat down. He leaned across the desk and said in a low voice, “How much do you want it to be?” He got the job.

Joke of the day – Dentist

January 7, 2014 | Newbloggycat

A sign posted in a Dentist’s office said:

“Please be nice to our dentists. They have fillings too.”

Joke of the day – The prisoner

January 6, 2014 | Newbloggycat

A prisoner escaped by digging a hole from the jail cell to the outside world. When his work was finally done, he emerged in the middle of a preschool playground. “I’m free, I’m free!” he shouted.

“So what,” said a little girl. “I’m four.”

Joke of the day – The artist

January 2, 2014 | Newbloggycat

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any recent interest in his paintings which happened to be on display.

“I have good news and bad news,” the gallery owner replied. “The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death.”

“What did you say?” questioned the artist.

“When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings.”

“That’s wonderful!” the artist exclaimed. “What’s the bad news?”

“The gentleman was your doctor.”