โYou’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching,
Love like you’ll never be hurt,
Sing like there’s nobody listening,
And live like it’s heaven on earth.โ
โ William W. Purkey
Tag Archives: heaven
Joke of the day – Lesson on whales
A teacher asked her class what they knew about whales. One little girl spoke up and said that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
The teacher smiled and said she didnโt think that was very likely, because even though whales can be big, their throats are not big enough to swallow a man. But the little girl was adamant, and maintained that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
The teacher was getting impatient, and reiterated that this was physically unlikely. But the girl was unmoved, and said that when she got to heaven, she would ask Jonah.
โBut what if Jonah went to hell?โ the teacher asked.
The girl replied, โThen you ask him.โ
Joke of the day – The young lawyer
A young lawyer died and was brought to heaven. Upon arriving the lawyer started protesting that itโs way to early for him to die, for he was only 32 years old, and there must be some mistake. The listening angel agreed that perhaps it was a mistake and agreed to look into it. After a few minutes the angel came back and said โIโm sorry sir but I am afraid there is no mistake, we calculated your age by how many hours you billed your clients, and you are at least 96.”
Joke of the day – Voice mail from God
We have all learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of modern life. But you may have wondered, “What if God decided to install voice mail?” Imagine praying and hearing this…
Thank you for calling My Father’s House.
Please select one of the following options:
Press 1 for request
Press 2 for thanksgiving
Press 3 for complaints
Press 4 for all other inquiries
What if God used the familiar excuse, “All the angels are helping other customers right now. Please stay on the line. You call will be answered in the order it was received.
Can you imagine getting these kinds of response as you call on God in prayer?
If you would like to speak to Gabriel, press 1 now
If you would like to speak to Michael, press 2 now
For a directory of other angels, press 3 now
If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm while you’re holding,
press 4 now
To find out if a loved one has been assigned to heaven, enter his or her social security number now.
For reservations at My Father’s House, press the letters J-O-H-N and then 3-1-6.
For answers on nagging questions about the age of earth and where Noah’s Ark is, please wait until you arrive here.
Our computers show that you have already called once today. Please hang up and try again tomorrow.
This office is closed for the weekend. Please call again on Monday after 9:00 a.m.
Joke of the day – The steps to heaven
A redhead, brunette and blonde were on their way to Heaven.
God told them the stairway to Heaven was 1000 steps, and on every 5th step Heโd tell them a joke. But, they must not laugh or else they couldnโt enter heaven.
The brunette went first and started laughing on the 65th step, so she could not enter Heaven.
The redhead went next and started laughing on the 320th step, so she could not enter Heaven either.
Then, it was the blondeโs turn. When she got to the 999th step, she started laughing.
โWhy are you laughing?โ God asked. โI didnโt tell a joke.โ
โI know,โ the blonde replied. โI just got the first one.โ
Joke of the day – The pastor and taxi driver
A pastor and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them.
“Come with me”, said St. Peter to the taxi driver.
The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St. Peter to a mansion. It had anything you could imagine from a bowling alley to an olympic size pool.
“Wow, thank you”, said the taxi driver.
Next, St. Peter led the pastor to a rugged old shack with a bunk bed and a little old television set.
“Wait, I think you are a little mixed up”, said the pastor. “Shouldn’t I be the one who gets the mansion? After all I was a pastor, went to church every day, and preached God’s word.”
“Yes, that’s true. But during your sermons people slept. When the taxi driver drove, everyone prayed.”
Joke of the day – Healthy Christians
Two Christians have lived very good, and also very healthy lives. They die, and go to heaven.
As they are walking along, marvelling at the paradise around them, one turns to the other and says “Wow. I never knew heaven was going to be as good as this!”
“Yeah”, says the other. “And just think, if we hadn’t eaten all that oat bran we could have got here ten years sooner.”
New Bloggy Cat [NBC] 