“Home is the nicest word there is.”
― Laura Ingalls Wilder (7.2.1867 – 10.2.1957)
Author Archives: Newbloggycat
Joke of the day – Rolex and Timex
Felly adopts two dogs, and she names them Rolex and Timex.
Molly: “Where’d you come up with those names?”
Felly: “HellOOOOO……they’re watchdogs!”
(Photo credit: http://www.petssupermart.com)
“Among the things you can give and still keep are your word, a smile, and a grateful heart.”
― Zig Ziglar
Joke of the day – Black and stripes
A woman brought her two cats to the veterinary clinic for their annual checkup.
One was a small framed, round tiger striped tabby, while the other was a long, shiny black cat.
She watched closely as the vet put each cat on the scale.
Vet: “They weigh about the same.”
Woman: “Well…that proves it. Black does make you look slimmer. And stripes make you look fat.”
Happiness is …
… dad’s shoulders to sit on for the purrrrfect view.
Joke of the day – Medical Terminology
Medical terminology for the layman:
Artery: The study of fine paintings.
Barium: What you do when CPR fails.
Cesarean Section: A district in Rome.
Colic: A sheep dog.
Coma: A punctuation mark.
Congenital: Friendly.
Dilate: To live long.
Fester: Quicker.
GI Series: Baseball game between teams of soldiers.
Hangnail: A coat hook.
Medical staff: A doctor’s cane.
Minor operation: Coal digging.
Morbid: A higher offer.
Nitrate: Lower than the day rate.
Node: Was aware of.
Organic: Church musician.
Outpatient: Person who has fainted.
Post-operative: A letter carrier.
Protein: In favor of young people.
Secretion: Hiding anything.
Serology: Study of English knighthood.
Tablet: A small table.
Tumor: An extra pair.
Urine: Opposite of you’re out.
Varicose veins: Veins which are very close together.
Benign: What you be after you be eight.
(Photo credit: http://www.amazing-creature.blogspot.com)
“When you say that a situation or a person is hopeless, you are slamming the door in the face of God.”
– Charles L. Allen
Joke of the day – Sit and do nothing
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing?”
The eagle answered, “Sure , why not.”
So the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Happiness is ….
….beautiful pink hiwhiskers (oops, I mean hibiscus)
Joke of the day – God is an artist
A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question,
“Boys and girls, what do we know about God?
A hand shot up in the air. “He is an artist!” said the kindergarten boy.
“Really? How do you know?” the teacher asked.
“You know – Our Father, who does art in Heaven… “
New Bloggy Cat [NBC] 