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Tag Archives: dog
Joke of the day – The part-time helper
I hired a part-time helper last year but she wasn’t doing a great job. So, one day I called her into the study and told that I was sorry but I have to let her go. I tipped her an extra $20 and thanked her for her services. As she was leaving she threw a $10 bill to our dog, Bobby. I asked her, โWhat was that for?โ She replied, โCanโt forget my helper! Bobby has a great tongue, and always help me do the dishes!!!โ
Joke of the day – The sleepy dog
One afternoon, I was in the backyard hanging the laundry when an old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard.
I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. But when I walked into the house, he followed me, sauntered down the hall and fell asleep in a corner. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back. He resumed his position in the hallway and slept for an hour.
This continued for several weeks. Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: โEvery afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.โ
The next day he arrived with a response pinned to his collar: โWe have ten children – heโs trying to catch up on his sleep.”
Joke of the day – Second opinion
A man runs into the vetโs office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments, tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is dead. The man, clearly agitated and not willing to accept this, demands a second opinion.
The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat and puts the cat down next to the dogโs body. The cat sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, poking and sniffing the dogโs body and finally looks at the vet and meows.
The vet looks at the man and says, โIโm sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead, too.โ The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead. So the vet brings in a black Labrador retriever. The lab sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, and finally looks at the vet and barks. The vet looks at the man and says,
โIโm sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead too.โ
The man, finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet and asks how much he owes. The vet answers, โ$650.โ
โ$650 to tell me my dog is dead?โ exclaims the man.
โWell,โ the vet replies, โI would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis. The additional $600 was for the cat scan and lab tests.
Happiness is …
Happiness is …
Happiness is …
There is no psychiatrist …
You can always …
Joke of the day – The best dog wins
Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle. The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time. The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.
Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them “The first one who can use the words “liver” and “cheese” together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me.”
The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says “I love liver and cheese.” “Oh, how childish,” said the Poodle. “That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever.”
She turned to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and said “How well can you do?” “Um. I HATE liver and cheese,” blurts the Golden Retriever.
“My, my,” said the Poodle. “I guess it’s hopeless. That’s just as dumb as the Lab’s sentence.” She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, “How about you, little guy?”
The last of the three, tiny in stature, but big in fame and finesse, is the Taco Bell Chihuahua. He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says, “Liver alone. Cheese mine.”









