A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”
The stock boy replied, “No ma’am, they’re dead.”
Tag Archives: family
Joke of the day – The poor family
A big, burly man visited the pastor’s home and asked to see the minister’s wife, a woman well known for her charitable impulses.
“Madam,” he said in a broken voice, “I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this district. The father is dead, the mother is too ill to work, and the nine children are starving. They are about to be turned into the cold, empty streets unless someone pays their rent, which amounts to $400.”
“How terrible!” exclaimed the preacher’s wife. “May I ask who you are?”
The sympathetic visitor applied his handkerchief to his eyes. “I’m the landlord,” he sobbed.
Quote of the day – Angela Schwindt
“While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.” – Angela Schwindt
There is no psychiatrist …
…in the world like a puppy licking your face.” – Ben Williams
Joke of the day – Family history
Two friends were discussion the family histories when one of them lamented that he knew precious little about his roots. “I’ve always wanted to have my family history traced,” he said, “but I can’t afford to hire someone. Any suggestions?”
“Sure,” replied his friend. “Run for public office,”
Happiness is …
…a warm greeting!
Quote of the day – Maria Edgeworth
“If we take care of the moments, the years will take care of themselves.” – Maria Edgeworth
You can always …
… find hope in a dog’s eyes.
Happiness is …
…a group hug!
Joke of the day – Only one wish
Three guys are convicted of a very serious crime, and they’re all sentenced to twenty years in solitary confinement. They’re each allowed one thing to bring into the cell with them.
The first guy asks for a big stack of books. The second guy asks for his wife. And the third guy asks for two hundred cartons of cigarettes.
At the end of the twenty years, they open up the first guy’s cell. He comes out and says, “I studied so hard. I’m so bright now, I could be a lawyer. It was terrific.”
They open up the second guy’s door. He comes out with his wife, and they’ve got five new kids. He says. “It was the greatest thing of my life. My wife and I have never been so close. I have a beautiuful new family. I love it.”
They open up the third guy’s door, and he’s slapping at his pockets, going “Anybody got a match?”
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