(Photo credit: http://www.clipartpanda.com)
When baking dog biscuits, be sure to use collie flour.
Tag Archives: funny jokes
Joke of the day – DNA
What did the DNA say to the other DNA?
βDo these genes make me look fat?β
Joke of the day – CPA
What does CPA stand for?
Canβt Pass Again.
Joke of the day – I love soap
I used to be addicted to soap,
but I’m clean now.
Joke of the day – Valentine gift
Howard, 18 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day, at a very smart jeweller’s shop in Hatton Garden, London.
The jeweller inquired, ‘Would you like your girlfriend’s name engraved on it?’
Howard thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, ‘No, instead engrave ‘To my one and only love’.’
The jeweller smiled and said, ‘Yes, sir, how very romantic of you.’
Howard retorted with a glint in his eye, ‘Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again.’
Joke of the day – Reality
The trouble with life is there’s no
background music.
Joke of the day – Word recognition
Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy,
it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a
wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht
teh frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll
raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we
do not raed ervey lteter by istlef but the
wrod as a wlohe.
~ Johnathan Powell
Joke of the day – Rolex and Timex
Felly adopts two dogs, and she names them Rolex and Timex.
Molly: “Where’d you come up with those names?”
Felly: “HellOOOOO……they’re watchdogs!”
Joke of the day – Black and stripes
A woman brought her two cats to the veterinary clinic for their annual checkup.
One was a small framed, round tiger striped tabby, while the other was a long, shiny black cat.
She watched closely as the vet put each cat on the scale.
Vet: “They weigh about the same.”
Woman: “Well…that proves it. Black does make you look slimmer. And stripes make you look fat.”
Joke of the day – Medical Terminology
Medical terminology for the layman:
Artery: The study of fine paintings.
Barium: What you do when CPR fails.
Cesarean Section: A district in Rome.
Colic: A sheep dog.
Coma: A punctuation mark.
Congenital: Friendly.
Dilate: To live long.
Fester: Quicker.
GI Series: Baseball game between teams of soldiers.
Hangnail: A coat hook.
Medical staff: A doctor’s cane.
Minor operation: Coal digging.
Morbid: A higher offer.
Nitrate: Lower than the day rate.
Node: Was aware of.
Organic: Church musician.
Outpatient: Person who has fainted.
Post-operative: A letter carrier.
Protein: In favor of young people.
Secretion: Hiding anything.
Serology: Study of English knighthood.
Tablet: A small table.
Tumor: An extra pair.
Urine: Opposite of you’re out.
Varicose veins: Veins which are very close together.
Benign: What you be after you be eight.
New Bloggy Cat [NBC] 