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Tag Archives: good clean jokes
Joke of the day – Work smart
Always give 100% at work:
12% Monday,
23% Tuesday,
40% Wednesday,
20% Thursday,
5% Friday
Joke of the day – The little turtle
Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground.
The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate.
“Honey,” she chirped, “I think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted.”
Joke of the day – Kittens
What do you call a pile of kittens?
A meowntain!
Joke of the day – Fire sale
Salesman to Customer: This is actually a fire sale.
My boss said if I don’t make a sale, I’m fired.
Joke of the day – Charles Dickens
Charles Dickens walks into a bar
and orders a martini.
The bartender asks, “Olive or Twist?”
Joke of the day – New restaurant
Have you heard about the new restaurant
called Karma?
There’s no menu – you get what you deserve.
Joke of the day – Warm and cold
A person has to have a warm heart and a cold beer.
Joke of the day – Charity
A local charity had never received a donation from the town’s banker, so the director made a phone call.
“Our records show you make $500,000 a year, yet you haven’t given a penny to charity,” the director began. “Wouldn’t you like to help the community?”
The banker replied, “Did your research show that my mother is ill, with extremely expensive medical bills?”
“Um, no,” mumbled the director.
“Or that my brother is blind and unemployed? Or that my sister’s husband died, leaving her broke with four kids?”
“I … I … I had no idea.”
“So,” said the banker, “if I don’t give them any money, why would I give any to you?”
Joke of the day – The real thing
Women wear fake eyelashes, fake hair and fake nails, yet they want a real man.
New Bloggy Cat [NBC] 