Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground.
The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate.
“Honey,” she chirped, “I think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted.”
What do you call a pile of kittens?
A meowntain!
Salesman to Customer: This is actually a fire sale.
My boss said if I don’t make a sale, I’m fired.
Charles Dickens walks into a bar
and orders a martini.
The bartender asks, “Olive or Twist?”
Have you heard about the new restaurant
called Karma?
There’s no menu – you get what you deserve.
A person has to have a warm heart and a cold beer.
Women wear fake eyelashes, fake hair and fake nails, yet they want a real man.
What’s more amazing than a talking dog is a spelling bee.
A Buddhist knocked on the vicar’s door with the sad news:
“My carma has just run over your dogma.”
Dear Optimist & Pessimist,
While you guys were busy arguing about the glass of water,
I drank it.
~ Opportunist
New Bloggy Cat [NBC] 