Driver: I had to drive into your fence to keep from hitting a cow that was on the road.
Farmer: Was it a Jersey cow?
Driver: I don’t know. I didn’t see her license plate.
Author Archives: Newbloggycat
Quote of the day – Lao Tzu
“Perfect kindness acts without thinking kindness.”
– Lao Tzu
Joke of the day – Call 911
A lady fainted and the husband calls 911.
The operator asks, “Where are you at”?
The husband replies, “I’m on Eucolipstic Road.”
The operator asks, “Can you spell that for me?”
“Well… I’ll just drag her over to Oak so you can pick her up there?”
Quote of the day – Nelson Mandela
“No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”
– Nelson Mandela
Joke of the day – Bartender job
A dog walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Do you have any jobs?” and the bartender says, “Why don’t you try the circus?” The dog replies, “Why would the circus need a bartender?”
Quote of the day – Eleanor Roosevelt
“You must do the things you think you cannot do.”
– Eleanor Roosevelt
Joke of the day – Alligator shoes
Customer: “Do you have alligator shoes?”
Clerk: “Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?”
Quote of the day – Peter McWilliams
“If you want peace, stop fighting. If you want peace of mind, stop fighting with your thoughts.”
– Peter McWilliams
Joke of the day – Loneliness
“It’s lonely at the top; but you do eat better.”
Quote of the day – Allen Ginsberg
“Follow your inner moonlight; don’t hide the madness.”
– Allen Ginsberg
New Bloggy Cat [NBC] 