It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner,“What are you charged with?”
“Doing my Christmas shopping early”, replied the defendant.
“That’s no offense”, said the judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?”
“Before the store opened.”
… spirit of Christmas.
The secret of perpetual youth is to lie about your age.
“We need silence to be able to touch souls.”
– Mother Teresa
Two foolish guys went hunting for a bear. Along the way they saw a sign “Bear left,” so they went home.
“If you cannot do great things, do small things in a great way.”
– Napoleon Hill
“When life places a wall in our path we have two choices – we can beat our head against it or we can figure out a way to get around it.”
– Randi G Fine
… great fashion sense.
A fish is an underwater creature that grows fastest between the time it is caught and the time the fisherman describes it to his friends.
A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife:
“Dear Husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?”
The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter:
“Dear Wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money.”
A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife:
“Dear Husband, You wouldn’t believe what happened, some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up all the back garden.”
The prisoner wrote another letter back:
“Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the lettuce.”
