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Quote of the day – Franklin D Roosevelt

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“When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.”

-Franklin D Roosevelt

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Joke of the day – The fluffy bunny

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After a long day at the office, Jack came home to find his dog with the neighbor’s pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit was obviously dead. Jack panicked! “If my neighbors find out my dog killed their bunny, they’ll hate me forever,” he thought.

So he took the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the house, gave it a bath and blow-dried its fur. Jack knew his neighbors kept their backdoor open during the summer, so he sneaked inside and put the bunny back into the cage, hoping his neighbors would think it died of natural causes.

A couple of days later Jack and his neighbor saw each other outside. “Did you know that Fluffy died?” the neighbor asked. “Oh! Uhmm… I’m so sorry to hear that. What happened?” Jack mumbled.

The neighbor replied, “We just found him dead in his cage one day. But the strange thing is that the day after we buried him, we went out to dinner and someone must have dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage!”

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Quote of the day – Josh Billings

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“Genius ain’t anything more than elegant common sense.”

– Josh Billings

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Joke of the day – Writing in zero gravity

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When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity.

To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300° C.

The Russians use a pencil.

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Quote of the day – Eleanor Roosevelt

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“Anger is one letter short of danger.”

– Eleanor Roosevelt

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Quote of the day – Aristotle

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“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.”

– Aristotle

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Joke of the day – The zoo

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“Went to the zoo. There was only one dog in it. It was a shihtzu.”

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Quote of the day – Charles Schulz

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“I think I’ve discovered the secret of life – you just hang around until you get used to it.”

– Charles Schulz