“I think I’ve discovered the secret of life – you just hang around until you get used to it.”
– Charles Schulz
Author Archives: Newbloggycat
Joke of the day – Saying grace
A couple invited some co-workers to dinner. At the table, the wife turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,
“Would you like to say grace?”
“I wouldn’t know what to say”, the girl replied.
“Just say what you hear Mom say”, the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said,
“Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?”
Quote of the day – Lao Tzu
“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.”
– Lao Tzu
Joke of the day – Theater ticket
On a visit to the local theater, an elderly man asked for the admission prices.
“Balcony seats are $15 each, circle seats are $10 each, stalls are $5 each and the programs are 50 cents, sir,” replied the lady behind the ticket counter.
“Right,” said the elderly man. “Give me a program and I’ll sit on it.”
Quote of the day – Bernard Meltzer
“A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked”
– Bernard Meltzer
Joke of the day – Simple math
Teacher: “If I laid two eggs on the chair and three eggs on the table, what do I get?”
Pupil: Your picture in “Believe It or Not!”
Quote of the day – Benjamin Franklin
“Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.”
– Benjamin Franklin
Quote of the day – Robert A. Heinlein
“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
― Robert A. Heinlein
Joke of the day – The Italian woman
My friend was stocking the shelves in a shop where he worked when a woman with a distinctive Italian accent asked him, “Please, sir. Where can I find a water go spaghetti stop?”
Puzzled, my friend paid close attention as she repeated her request, this time adding hand gestures. Then it dawned on him what she wanted. He led her to another aisle and found a “water go, spaghetti stop” – a colander.
Quote of the day – Doug Larson
“If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing rods.”
– Doug Larson
