A couple invited some co-workers to dinner. At the table, the wife turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,
“Would you like to say grace?”
“I wouldn’t know what to say”, the girl replied.
“Just say what you hear Mom say”, the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said,
“Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?”
“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.”
– Lao Tzu
On a visit to the local theater, an elderly man asked for the admission prices.
“Balcony seats are $15 each, circle seats are $10 each, stalls are $5 each and the programs are 50 cents, sir,” replied the lady behind the ticket counter.
“Right,” said the elderly man. “Give me a program and I’ll sit on it.”
“A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked”
– Bernard Meltzer
Teacher: “If I laid two eggs on the chair and three eggs on the table, what do I get?”
Pupil: Your picture in “Believe It or Not!”
“Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.”
– Benjamin Franklin
“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
― Robert A. Heinlein
My friend was stocking the shelves in a shop where he worked when a woman with a distinctive Italian accent asked him, “Please, sir. Where can I find a water go spaghetti stop?”
Puzzled, my friend paid close attention as she repeated her request, this time adding hand gestures. Then it dawned on him what she wanted. He led her to another aisle and found a “water go, spaghetti stop” – a colander.
“If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing rods.”
– Doug Larson
… a perfect meatloaf!
