I hired a part-time helper last year but she wasn’t doing a great job. So, one day I called her into the study and told that I was sorry but I have to let her go. I tipped her an extra $20 and thanked her for her services. As she was leaving she threw a $10 bill to our dog, Bobby. I asked her, “What was that for?” She replied, “Can’t forget my helper! Bobby has a great tongue, and always help me do the dishes!!!”
“So many books, so little time.”
― Frank Zappa
“Sing out loud in the car even, or especially if it embarrasses your children.”
– Marilyn Penland
As a professional photographer, Julie takes a lot of pride in her pictures. Wherever she goes, she brings her pictures with her, to show off her work.
”Wow”, said her host Samantha,”these are really nice pictures, you must have a great camera.”
Fuming mad at the implication that her whole talent came from her camera, Julie waited until the end of the meal. She then thanked her host, “Thank you, the meal was delicious.” And as if an afterthought added, “you must have great pots.”
“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?”
– Dr. Seuss
One afternoon, I was in the backyard hanging the laundry when an old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard.
I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. But when I walked into the house, he followed me, sauntered down the hall and fell asleep in a corner. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back. He resumed his position in the hallway and slept for an hour.
This continued for several weeks. Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: “Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.”
The next day he arrived with a response pinned to his collar: “We have ten children – he’s trying to catch up on his sleep.”
… Smile! We’re on candid camera!
“Seek to do good, and you will find that happiness will run after you.”
-James Freeman Clarke
A thief was robbing a house. All of a sudden someone said, “Jesus is watching you!” “What? Oh well,” said the thief and he went back to work. When he started to pick up the VCR, he heard the voice again, “Jesus is watching you!” it said again. This time the thief pointed his flashlight at the voice and asked, “Who said that?” It was a parrot. “I’m Moses,” said the parrot. “Who in the world would name you Moses?” asked the thief. The parrot answered, “The same man that named the pitbull in the corner Jesus!”
“Do something. If it doesn’t work, do something else. No idea is too crazy.”
– Jim Hightower
