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Joke of the day – Sherlock Holmes

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep.

Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”

Watson replied: “I see millions and millions of stars.”

Holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?”

Watson replied: “Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.”

And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”

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Quote of the day – Confucius

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“It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.”

– Confucius

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Joke of the day – Second opinion

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A man runs into the vet’s office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments, tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is dead. The man, clearly agitated and not willing to accept this, demands a second opinion.

The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat and puts the cat down next to the dog’s body. The cat sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, poking and sniffing the dog’s body and finally looks at the vet and meows.

The vet looks at the man and says, “I’m sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead, too.” The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead. So the vet brings in a black Labrador retriever. The lab sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, and finally looks at the vet and barks. The vet looks at the man and says,
“I’m sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead too.”

The man, finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet and asks how much he owes. The vet answers, “$650.”

“$650 to tell me my dog is dead?” exclaims the man.

“Well,” the vet replies, “I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis. The additional $600 was for the cat scan and lab tests.

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Quote of the day – Aristotle

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“There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.”

–Aristotle

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Quote of the day – Jim Rohn

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“Either you run the day or the day runs you.”

– Jim Rohn

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Joke of the day – Russian baby boy

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The couple was delighted when their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end. The adoption center called and told them that there was a wonderful Russian baby boy available. The couple accepted him without hesitation.

On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses.

After they filled out the forms, the registration clerk inquired, “What ever possessed you to study Russian?”

The couple said proudly, “We just adopted a Russian baby. In a year or so, when he begins to talk, we want to be able to understand him.”

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Quote of the day – Carl Jung

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“The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.”

– Carl Jung

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Joke of the day – God and Einstein

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Einstein climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.

Looking up, he asks the Lord…
“God, what does a million years mean to you?”

The Lord replies, “A minute.”

“Einstein asks, “And what does a million dollars mean to you?”

The Lord replies, “A penny.”

Einstein asks, “Can I have a penny?”

The Lord replies, “In a minute.”

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Quote of the day – Marilyn Monroe

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“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.”

― Marilyn Monroe

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Happiness is …

My gorgeous 4-month old nephew ;)

My gorgeous 4-month old nephew 😉

… looking like little buddha and 100% cute!